dux

end of me.

2006-12-18T11:05:00.000+08:00

MOVED.

-hanyauntukdia.blogspot.com .. a distant memory-

duX`-

so long, and goodnight.

2006-12-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

our lives, flashed across my eyes.

a part of my soul, is gone.

sirdux`

2006-12-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

heylo.

just something to leave you guys with before my unwanted hiatus.

ta`

duX`-

more than words

2006-12-16T18:30:00.000+08:00

heylo.

i think today is going to be the last day on having internet connection.
yups.

so, will be mia for awhile.
unless, brother go and pay the bills.

jangan makan diri sendiri.
and, jangan bobal world okay?
oh, and jangan macam paham.

heh. sumer sama meaning ah actually.
hah.

see, i told you so.
it'll happen this way.
life sucks when things happen this way.

everything seemed to be going against the flow.

just random thoughts.

"dont take it to the heart, take it to your lungs."
quote by imam.

last mad inc outing before norman leaves to mecca on wednesday!
be present people!

okay dah~

-everyone's the same..-

duX`-

today is the 12th!

2006-12-12T15:48:00.000+08:00

heylo.

for those who know..
today is 12th of december..
and it means something..
nyahhh~

how how how how how how?
i didnt attend the "thing" lehh..
diee..

okay, im suppose to study now.

okay dah~

-usah lepaskan-

duX`-

birthday!

2006-12-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

heylo.

shoutout to the sweetheart!
happy eighteenth supi!
=)
hope you like ALL the presents that were given to you!

marketing paper was easy.
=)

after that went to meet supi..
took 65 to vivo.
since she hasnt been there before.
heh.

carrot cake and japanese salmon fried rice!
yeahh..

okay pictures!

brought to you live by sirdux from vivocity!

the girl. =)

thats us!

usah lepaskan genggaman tanganmu.

the girl, with her new boyfriend! grr.

so long, people!

okay dah~

-would you date me on a regular?-

duX`-

if only she knew.

2006-12-10T22:24:00.000+08:00

heylo.

hah.
i bought myself taufik's new album.
heh heh heh.
corny right?

but, i think its kinda worth the 20 bucks ah.
he wrote and composed most of the songs in it..
and i think all sounds so good..
=))

but, i still prefer hady because he's more of a ballad-er than taufik is.
heh.

and anyway..
congrats to my sister-in-law.
faiz haider was born on the 6th of december!
6.06pm.
hah.
nak number 6 6 6 jer.

im an uncle!
hahaha.
okay best~

temporary internet connection till the 16th, i think.
yeaps.

i caught the man u vs man city game at simpang last night..
with supi.
hurhur.
thanks so much for accompanying me okay!

we'll go there for more teh-peng okay!
=))

oh, and its official.
5th of december.

now, i have no qualms about announcing it.
because, i wont and shouldnt regret this decision that i took.
wish me luck people.

and much luck to isy too!
heh heh heh.
leMnop!
=))

now, im just looking forward to the 21st.
and just maybe the 23rd.
first and the last for me.
yups.

and, im missing norman.
hah.
i guess, it'll just be on the 24th before we get to see you aye?
you take care in the mean time oryte.

im not even sure if he can read this..
hmmm..

for these few days, im sleeping in my brother's room..
because he gone to jambi (sp?)
for some arts festival with sw.
yeaps.

hah.
that is so tak perlu ah eh?
hurhur.

okay dah~

-aku ada, kerna kau ada-

duX`-

sepasang kekasih yang teman dan setia

2006-12-04T20:35:00.000+08:00

heylo.

just a one-liner.

hendak seribu daya, tidak seribu dalih.

duX`-

tak ingin menjadi duri.

2006-12-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

heylo.

ahm at concourse waiting for time to pass..
until my next lesson at four..
this is where norman will always be..
and now, im here.
hah.

met aisyah and kak ayn yesterday..
kak ayn bought her stufs..
hah.
SUKER?!

ljs-ed and after which kak ayn became a doctor for awhile.
haha.
hilarious shit i tell you..

internet connection is still down..
so, im like lugging my laps everywhere i go now.
hah.
bag sumpah berat lah can!

term test is next week..
and, i have yet to print my lect notes..
okay best~

and, im feeling like one big fucker right now.
i guess i am?
haha..
and, its open to interpretation.
dont be obscene tho.

how long..?
i really dont know..
im just so afraid i'll hurt you again..
and, you'll be singing hurt by christina aguilera.
heh heh.
no, but seriously..
im sorry for being this way..
i guess i am indecisive after all aye?
but, its a big deal to me okay~
i wouldnt want our friendship to go astray.
yet.. feelings are growing..

and norman.
please do think before doing anything.
c'mon bro, as fucked up as he is..
its not worth it.. leaving everything behind.
okay?
WE CARE!

there are suddenly alot of year threes around here.
hahah.

and theres this oddly dressed girl at the table infront of me..
and looking at her just makes me wanna laugh out loud.
LOL.

black pumps with knee length black stokings.
black crumpled camisole knee length dress.
red striped hair.
and emo/punk make up.
with a studded belt around her waist.
GO FIGURE.

HAHAHAHA.

okay dah~

i wanna play fm!

-the ghost of you-

duX`-

you would be here with me.

2006-11-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

heylo

okay, its been awhile.
my internet's connection is down right now..
and i dont know when it'll be up again..
due to some personal reasons.

so, now im in school updating..
when im suppose to do my SSSD project.

how do i create an array.. and call another arrayList and put it inside the first array..
and keep repeating the step over2 until it runs out of events for that particular userId..
and then it'll show in the listBox of my program?
GO FIGURE.

damn.
sunday 10pm is submission!

met up with isy yesterday..
and we talked lor..
been about a week plus since we last met..
so yeah..

you just insulted me.

but, i wont be drawn into any blog-fights with you.
i have many other things to think of.
but again, i think you better stand infront of the mirror..
and look at yourself.. and ask who you really are.

oh yeah!
and hady came over to tp and performed 2 songs!
and guess what!!
hahaa..
the first song he sang..
is my favourite!!
heh heh heh.

the one you're prolly listening to right now..
=))

the other is his first single..
was fine i guess..
the event was actually for some kids who call themselves "freshies"
who probably wouldnt want to come tp.
nyeh~

term test is in 2 weeks..
last day of tests is 14th.
after which is holidays till the start of the new year..
=))

18th!

okay dah~

-i said maybe, that you're gonna be the one that save me-

duX`-

uhm?

2006-11-21T10:17:00.000+08:00

heylo.

dont get angry and say its my fault.
stop acting as though im someone.
because, i know that im not.

from the start, theres no way in.
you never opened up.

dont be pissed.
i was just being honest.
dont lie to yourself.
you'll regret.

thats for you.
im tired of chasing.
and, ive got no patience to prove myself to you.
so long..

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

thats for you.
its been so long.
yet, why cant i still forget you..?

-i can see him dying-

duX`-

mesti bukan aku.

2006-11-20T20:45:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so, was reading someone's eljay.

aku upset lah.

i dont know why..
but, its just soo confusing..
or i should stop being so, perasan..?

nyeh~

school's been fine..
still very weird at being alone all the time..
well, not all.. but most.

milo bars, thenewpaper, library are my friends now.
haha.
if supi isnt with me in school..
it'll just be me, milobars, thenewpaper and the library together..
sometimes, i'll be sleeping with library too you know..?
so fun.

18th was fun.
shall not elaborate more.
confidential stufs.

heh heh.
it looks like i'll have to wait till the new year for a new rship.
takde calon lah!

there is ah..
but, its just MY candidate.
im not theirs.
so yeaps.

is satay gonna jadik on wednesday?

i like school now lah..
i dont think its that hard this sem.
yeaps.

i swear i have to stop wearing caps now.
the dandruff is getting worse!
i want long hair!
but, its getting too long to grow lah can!
and, everyday with the cap on..
without the hair getting sunlight..
my hair's bad!

now, i want to cut..
but, i so lazy to style lahh..
how how how?

in times when you need me..
dont deny i was never there..
and when you're all happy..
you'll go quiet for at least a week..

okay dah~

-mengenang kisah lalu-

duX`-

lambat sangat lah nyah!

2006-11-14T11:43:00.000+08:00

heylo.

short post!

Come with me
Stay the night
Just say the words
but boy it don't feel right
What do ya expect me to say
You take my hand
And you say you've changed
But boy you know your begging don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
So let me go now'
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know...

It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway

okay, there are like lots more to the song..
or i mean, the lyrics.
its soo long.. im just too lazy to put all in it..
but you guys get my drift la eh..

aku terasa biler dengar tu lagu.
hah.

syida asked if i could come down to audition for some hanyut like movie.
hahaha..
walao.

okay, im just killing time..
before i go out to school..
yeaps..

soccer/running later.
norman coming to school at around 4.
yeaps.

few days back, i wanted to blog on alot of things..
but, i seemed to forget everything about it.
nyeh~

will be back when i remember la eh.

okay dah~

-who..? who..?-

duX`-

actually..

2006-11-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

heylo.

short post!

school ended quite early actually..
when i had something to do.. which stretches on until quite late.
nyeh~

so, thanks for the time..
norman, yati and supi.

so, whats wrong with me..?
and, no, its not your fault.

im still very much bothered about the fine..
and where im going to get the money from..
like, seriously.

okay, those who tau cerita only know what im talking about.

is it me..?
or are you keeping quiet..?
or are you distancing yourself away..?

if you people are free..
watch "loose change"
go download!
discreetly tho.

aku actually pantang orang interrupt biler aku tengah berbual ah.

i dont see the need for my blog entries to have a motive..
lets just stay random..?
unless i really do have something to blog about.
hah.

a new year..
a new relationship..?

5 months from july..
is january.
and, would that give me enough reason to move on..?
would 5 months be enough to show you guys that i can be single..?

or is 5 months, still too short?

not that i have girls queueing up lah..
but, hey.. i can carik okay~

but, i wouldnt say i'll stay single till the new year..
hah.

who knows..
someone might just sweep me off my feet.
nyaahhh~
like real only.

actually ah..
im quite picky about girls ah..

must not be thin lah..
prefer to have long hair lah..
must like to wear skirt lah..
must not like to talk on the phone lah..
and et cetera.

hahaha..

okay, like whatever hairul.

was talking to a friend..
and, we talked about changes..

sometimes, certain things..
we can accept a change..
but, somethings..
shouldnt be changed..

okay, its pointless talking about it..
shall be put up at my eljay instead.
hah.

okay dah~

-tell me what do you do.. when it all falls apart..-

duX`-

turning point.

2006-11-07T22:37:00.000+08:00

heylo.

was watching channel 5 just now..

up until 9..
it was kinda bored lah..
with the my sassy neighbour program..
super boring..

then when turning point came up..
it felt as though i was watching newcastle having a 3 goal lead against chelsea.
hahahaha.

it basically means.. i was interested in the program lah!
it was a story of this guy who went thru shit in his life..
before a stranger picked him up and change his entire life around..
sounds cliche aye?

but.. how often do you see a grown up man..
who is a national silat coach..
cry on national tv?

when he said.. "now that i've got the respect of my atheletes.. will i get the respect from the mainstream people in the vountry..?"

that shows sincerity.
you should see how the host.. irene ang?
was almost crying as well..
they showed about two ful minutes of him crying..
and that shows how much he is willing to bare his soul to the people of singapore..
to remind us, kids, that nothing is worse than losing your parents because of something you did.
i was moved to tears as well.

damn.

for quite sometime now, ive been a proud follower of the yellow ribbon project.
i am also proud to say that i made my arts appreciation class's mask..
inspired by the yellow ribbon project..
even tho, it may not the the nicest, most artistic, smoothest mask you'll ever see..
i am proud that i did it, to show how much i support this project..
because, these people are exactly like us.
they deserve second chances.
so, dont ever look down on them, okay?
=)))

so anyways..
school has been fine..

i still love world issues..
even though now, im in the right class.
nyah~

my group is so kecoh lah can..
we have the only two business students in class..
and, they are super noisy.. in a fun way of course..
and theres this freshie.. from mwc.
hah.
super cute girl.
she is such a joker lah can.
then, theres this super serious guy..
who got like 12 pts but opted for ito.
and he like know everything lah!
heh heh.

so, i love world issues still.

im hoping man u will win 4-0 tonight.
it will save all my troubles away..
please score 4 man u!

okay, raya pics. kinda outdated. but, who cares. heh.

the family!

with the closest aunt. and grandma!

with the in-laws. hah.

awww.. last raya for trajet!

everyone smile in the lift!

me and isy.

isy and me.

us in the trajet!

now, with the parents!

us.siblings!

now, with a half eye of the sis in law!

with the second brotherr.

them.siblings.

reflections.

hah. stop it with the face!

heh. wont be complete without indiv. shots!

thats me on. www.hanyauntukdia.blogspot.com!

purrrrrrrrple!

shot of the year!
isy looking straight at the camera!
=)

okay, aku outdated.
tapi takpe..
im busy with school!
hah.

and, i havent gone out with mad incs lah can..
i dont think we will also..
takde time seyyyy..

okay dah~

-we're breaking free-

duX`-

awwww..

2006-11-05T02:04:00.001+08:00

heylo.

ahaha..
okay, my title is kinda lame today.
nyah~

okay..

to tina: i always emo meh...??

so, anyways..
apart from having a nice breakfast early in the morning on friday..
what happened after that sucked.
bleargh.

but, i think..
im gonna love fridays now..
because, i love marketing tutorials!
=)))

damn..
i shud have been a business student mann..
oh well.

after class, went to play soccer..
yeahh.. dah lama tak main bola..
hah.
banyak budak it ngah main bola..
training for director's cup or whattt!

saturday was mundane.
like seriously..

and, i dont remember i could put myself to sleeep for more than 2 hrs..
sigh.
i was seriously upset and disturbed about what happened in the afternoon sia..

so, in the end i woke myself up at 10..
slacked around till 2-ish..
before the parents reached home from the doctor..
and i got ready to go out..
but, not after mother had to do some work at home..
hah.

went to two house onlie..
because Nyai was already on the way here..
so, went back home instead..

after which everyone head to the airport to fetch the maid..
im officially sleeping outside for about a year.
im not complaining lah actually..

actually i blogged because i saw something heartwarming just now at the airport..
heh.

while waiting for the maid..
there's this guy with his son..
and this lil kid looks like he's about 4 years old..
so, when he eventually saw his maid at the luggage conveyor belt..
he kept shouting..
"aunty! come here quick! i need you!"

its not about what he said actually..
its how, these kids grew attached to these maids..
and how important they are to them..
after he got tired of shouting..
he turned to his dad..
and asked his dad to shout to the maid to hurry up because he wanted to give the maid a hug.
how sweet is that!
=)

then, i left the scene.. because our maid got her bags already..
so, i didnt get to catch the ending..

okay dah~

actually aku tengah upset ah.

-its been four months-

duX`-

afraid.. because of you.

2006-11-02T11:03:00.000+08:00

heylo.

hah.
open to interpretations.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you I
find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

which you..?
or i find myself in there..?

-kita bagai cerita, wahai sahabat..-

duX`-

when im down.

2006-11-01T10:44:00.000+08:00

heylo.

this is going to be a short post.
hah.

lets see..

its wednesday today..

i shall start from monday..
heh heh heh.

ive got a three hour lab on monday from 8am lahh can!
so boring lahh..
alermak!
heh heh.

but, actually not bad lah..
opsy stufs..

i think monday was okay ah..
hahaha..
watched sp vs rp rugby game..
sumpah aku bising biler tengok rugby!
hahahaa..
kekek-ness~

after rugby was..
WORLD ISSUES!!!!!!
yey!
harharhar.
i like WORLD ISSUES lah can!
it must be the best cds ever lah can!
hehehe..
the lecture was fun..
=))))

after that..
i went to 1901 and famous amos..
alone lah..
sad right..?
cravings lah..
1901 from bulan puasa okay nak makan..
sampaikan dah raya.. baru dapat makan..
heh heh.
and, i went straight home after that..

tuesday!
my most favourite day of the week!
hehehe.

because of WORLD ISSUES tutorial.
heh heh.
i sumpah like the module lah..
alamak.. im like so excited whenever i hear the word WORLD ISSUES.!!
heh heh.
know why anot..?
pasal aku boleh kutuk negeri yang aku paling benci di dalam kelas itu!!
best right!
=)))))))

so anyway..
after that..
met up with norman..
had dinner at ljs..
heh.
*indahnya sungguh di hari raye.. ramai orang makan long john silver*
heh heh heh.
so, after dinner..
me, supi and norman head back homeee..
yehh..

today..
start at 12.
heh heh.
actually suppose to meet supi at 9 ah..
but i met her at 2 instead..
hehehe..

and..
THANKS EH AZEAN.
nyahhhh~!!

aku nie belo2 pon..
tak ku sangka aku sungguh belo.com!
hah.

okay dah.
entry yang amat sungguh boring.

-indahnya sungguh di hari raye.. abg norman blanje the newpaper-

duX`-

whoami. whereareu.

2006-10-28T00:49:00.000+08:00

heylo.

short post.

reply to tags.

rina: where ever you are.. for as long as you want to stay.. i still love you okay, rina?
but.. there's just nothing that can describe.. how much i miss you..

ressa: oh really..? do say hi yeh! =))

Di sini kau dan aku
Terbiasa bersama
Menjalani kasih sayang
Bahagia ku denganmu

Pernahkah kau menguntai
Hari paling indah
Ku ukir nama kita berdua
Di sini syurga kita

Bila kita mencintai yang lain
Mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar
Sebisa mungkin, tak akan pernah
Sayangku akan hilang...

If we love somebody
Could we be this strong
I will fight to win
Our love will conquer all
I wouldn't risk my love
Even just one night
Our love will stay in my heart
My heart..

couple of ways you can look at that song..
fo me.. i wouldnt look at it at present.
i could relate it as my past..

whatever happens..
our love, will stay in my heart.
forever. something that i will never forget.
one big life lesson learnt.

im just losing hope..

-241003 .. 270706-

duX`-

24th october 2006.

2006-10-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

heylo.

its suppose to be OUR 3 years anniversary.

fate has it that we're not to be together now..
ive come to accept it tho..
and, even tho we're not the best of friends..
we're not as bad as things could have happen between us..

and, im grateful for that.
=))

im not sure if we're ever going to be back together..
i dont know if i want to..
i dont know whether im still hoping..
i have alot of i dont know questions..

okay, im just confused.

im taking things one day at a time.

i also dont know if i should move on.
well, in the future i should lah..
but, for now.. i wouldnt.

actually i would..
if you want to..

but, you've not moved on since like forever..
and, you wouldnt give anyone a chance.

so, im mingle this raya!
yay?

going out with panjy on the 12th.

yeps. not hoping for anything on the 11th.
im not taking part in the planning.
if you guys want to have it..
then, inform me..
dont expect me help eitherr..
sorry ehh~

anyways, adibah..
if you'rs is still jadik..
then, tell me soon k?

other than that..
there's no more outings with anyone..
hard to lah..
with school and everything..

first day was whack!
hahaha.
norman came to school!
heh heh heh.

okay, actually i miss ressa la.
where are you gerl!?

first day of raya was fine i guess..
yeaps.
home is still the best place..
wherever you are..

okay dah~

-bagiku kaulah cinta sejati-

duX`-

would the grass be greener..?

2006-10-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

heylo.

yeah~
man u won 2-0!

hah.
not that im a man u supporter lah..
just dont want chelsea to be having any advantage over anyone early on the season..

so, tomorrow will be the last day of puasa..
mixed feelings about it..
i think for me personally, ramadhan this year is very poductive.
im satisfied with myself.
=))

to everyone concerned..
i would like to extend my 10 fingers..
and apologise to friends and family if anything ive said or done has affected you in any way possible.
selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.

its been awhile since we've met.
i've never stopped hoping you'll come back.
true, i was pissed.
but, ive never held any grudge against you.
i was soo much in need back then..
and when you suddenly turn your back against me..
i felt betrayed..
im sorry okay..?

i know for real..
that cancer-ians..
wont give in..
so, i will apologise.
where have you been all these while..?
i miss you.

school is coming!
yey!
can't wait lah..
ahm soo bored at home lah can~
but, the thought of a THREE hours lab for my first class..
is disheartening.

but, anyways..
will be buka-ing with mad inc.
since, i end at 7.
thanks eh~

by the way, imam.
prinmktg is principle of marketing.
better bring your new ride along!
and an extra helmet!
harharhar~

okay dah~

-my other half, my long lost, my sister-

duX`-

tags.

2006-10-20T03:10:00.000+08:00

heylo.

reply to tags.
macam banyak la pulak orang tag.
=))

ling: yah.. but, even so.. sigh.

supi: heh heh heh. not sup tulang laa! TULANG aje!!

farna: ehh~ nak tahu pulak.. that's alot of one liners.. MAYBE one of them is for you. hahah~

hid: okay, hid mana eh? the tkgs one.. or mwc onee..?

faizal: hurhurhur. aku amik class 3 jugak.. and i just passed my basic. so, yeaps. got my car pdl.

fardeaL: heh heh heh. kesian kauu~ yang penting, arsenal main tak bagus ah actually, tu pasal tak menang. heh.

okay.
that should be it.
rtt later on!

wish me luck people!

-dinner with a candlelight-

duX`-

thoughts.

2006-10-19T04:41:00.000+08:00

heylo.

this post is going to be full of random one-liners.
or maybe abit more.
heh.

aku sedang menanti sebuah jawapan.

you're very much welcome, norman.

yati, i still do owe you one dinner.

sayang, yang sudah tu sudah.

dari sana kami datangnya.

ku inginkan..

i'll make love to you.. who?

english clubs win. minus arsenal.

1 out of 2 pdl.

kau pun sudah berdiri sendiri.

siapalah ku ini..?

do still you care..?

kau dah mula menghilang.

aku, bagaimana?

tulang was superb!

she was superb too! *looks at norman* hahahahahahahahaha!
tapi tak dapat ah~

perot kosong, perot lapar, boleh makan macam gajah!

check mic, one two,
where is the love?

im'ma do things my way, my way on the highway.

this love has taken its toll on me, she said goodbye.

kau pergi jua.

chico or what!

kian jauh, kian hilang,
kasih antara kita.

mengapa engkau begitu dengan ku..?

apakah salah ku..?

-hidup siAnu-

duX`-

msn sucks.

2006-10-18T11:21:00.000+08:00

heylo.

im unable to log in to my msn account.
wth!
from yesterday siaa..

is it my account, my laps or is it the program.??!!
nyahh~

when i tried to log in to my gmail.. its fine okay!
the other hotmail address i have also can log in la!
my hsdyno cannot.
alamakkk..
knnccb betol.

why is it that you have soo soo much baggage?
drop it off and move on..

but, anyway..
short entry..

thanks ahmad.
do source for the formal one aye?

the caption for that picture will be..
*wonders*

think about it.

-kemana saja, kau berlari, bersembunyi..-

duX`-

outcast-ed

2006-10-16T23:12:00.000+08:00

heylo.

been having a few busy days..

family break fast together at cahaya timur..
sri warisan iftar at desa kartika..
ryann irhaz came to this world as well.
=))

so, the family broke fast together at cahaya timur..
its at kembangan by the way..
just beside raimah.
yeahh..

buffet thingy..
but, its buffet briyani ah..
heh.
quite worth it lah..

didnt follow the parents to jb..
instead, went to fetch isy from work..
reached there kinda early..
but, whenever i have my newpaper with me..
i can read it from front to back.. word by word..
and i take an average 90 mins to read through every single news..

so, when she finally end her training..
went straight to kembangan..
took train..
yeah.. talked the whole way thru..
was fine..

been a long time since i met her..
and it was nice catching up with stufs..
she got lots of thing to tell me..
but, i dont have anything to say..
because, im living my life being alone now..
hah.
no.. im not sound-ing sad lah..
just stating the fact mah..

been wondering where the guys have gone too..
sigh.
4f-ers are also missing in action.
(thanks eh meerah, ckp friday nak buka sesame. last2 tak get back. i kept my friday free for you okay.)
mad inc.
busy with work, kuihs, a new bike and an on-going business.

that actually means, ive got no one to go out with.
like seriously.

jangan cakap aku tak ajak ah eh.
penat aku msg2 orang..
takde yang reply.

eversince im no longer with isy..
ive not been going out already.
defnitely not with my sisters.
or, are they?

but, thats life lah.
one thing ends.. another window of opportunity will open up for you.
ahm still waiting..

warisan iftar was fine..
hah.
did some mtv..
right in takashimaya okay!
hahaha..
kekek-ness can!

after which brother bought himself a new shoe..
looks good lah.
lepas tu teros balik..
tengok newcastle game.. and off to sleep..
didnt even join the guys at 7k.

today, followed brother to taman..
just being kpo and see how the briefing is done..
after that went to get some stufs..
and head back to tampines to see kak tini's new boyy..
slacked there for awhile..
before going back to send lauk to mak tok's place..
and then the usuals lah..
buka-ed and everything..
daddy wanted to go back to hospital..
so, went to hospital.. and back here i am.

okay, im so mendak.

just updating for the sake of it.

i cant seem to get my point across.
not that i cant.. i dont know how to put it in the right words.

-words without actions.. useless-

duX`-

a thing call miss.

2006-10-14T13:12:00.000+08:00

heylo.

hahahaha.
just found out that my title is lame.
usually, its.. a thing call love or something like that..
right?
haha..

okay.
i miss my kids.
or them three.

yeps.
they are the best threesome ever can!
i sungguh miss the smallest lah.

kecik2 pon da tahu emo tau!
asik2 merajok.
harhar.
ikot aunty dier ah agaknye..
heh heh.
joking okay!

so, anyways..
buka-ing luar with the family later on..
fetching isy after her work..

didnt follow the parents and brother to jb..
because im afraid balik lambat.
then tak dapat amik isy.. and she wont come to buka sesame..
yah.

oh, dad went to get another massage.
now at jb pulak..
masih takle jalan betol2.

okay..
i wanna go and shower~

-three little stooges-

duX`-

irritated.

2006-10-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

heylo.

im now officially sleeping outside..
for quite a some time too..
sad ah.

ive got no mood to blog eversince im sleeping outside lah.
actually, its been two days ah..
and ive got no mood to do anything already..

oh and..
ive given up friendster hopping in the search of lawar.com
hahaha.
8 out of 10 females i clicked on..
are all below 16 years of age.
of which it does not pass the pre-requisites stated on the terms and conditions.
hahahaha.

like norman said..
i think, ive become a resident at ubi.
heh heh.

abeh asik aku call..
sumer tak angkat aje..
sia sia ah korang ader talipon bimbit.

lagi2 kan..
kalau anak dara..
asik bangun lambat.. bangun tengahari..
*looks at supi*
hahaha.
cuber bangun tolong mak buat kuih siakk..
harharhar.

mak ai.
its been about 20 plus days..
and i buka-ed outside with friends only twice.
omg can!
ive not been to geylang, eversince that day i went with isy to alter her top.
and that's like.. 2nd day of puasa.
thanks eh~

okaylah..
i think prison touch this week. (looks at kailing) ((pun intended))
is awesome.
hahaha..
at last, its not soo frustrating anymore..
he's got a way out!
yehh!
go scofield!

okay. i should start sleeping already..
will be at ubi in the morning again.
nyaahh~

-aku bored la dirumah-

duX`-

2006-10-11T20:17:00.000+08:00

heylo.

Never Date a Leo

Dramatic, egotistical, and emotional - a Leo is way too high maintenance for you!
And forget about a quick fling with an alluring Leo. It's either everything or nothing with this sign!

Instead try dating: Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces, or Cancer

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

heh heh.
okay, i decided to go on the bandwagon as well.
nyaahh~

cancer eh?
tak menjadik je gitu..
harharhar.

okay, nevermind.

tido pat luar lahhh~
aiyar..

-when im falling..-

duX`-

crouching crows.

2006-10-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

heylo.

take my photo off the wall..
la la la la la.
hah.
okay, my first few lines are always random.

day was whack siaa~
haha.
actually nothing great happened lah..

aku bangun jam 7.30 pagi.
aku suka bangun pagi2 time holiday nie..
tapi takper..
nak belajar punya pasal..
one revision down, two more to go.
ive not exactly gotten the technique right.
for the crank course.
nyaahhh~

yang lain.. insya'Allah boleh buat dengan betol!
=))

cumer crank course je la..
alamak..
okay, pikirans.

dengar2..
imam da bawak kluar moto eh!
knnccb.
hahaha..
banyak kau peh nak moto yang ade tank pat depan!
dah gitu takper..
ade hati nak bilang aku end of the month baru nak carik moto..
sampai masanya..
friday nie dah boleh bawak!
harhar.
tapi takper.
congrats~
=))
jangan luper members nanti dah ade moto yer!

revision ended at around 12-ish.
ade hati nak pergi rumah nenek aku la dekat bedok north..
skali dua kali..
i forgot to bring my basic theory book.
okay, thanks eh!

so, i went home instead..
banyak punye nak blaja lahh..
sampai rumah..
slept till 2.00pm.
heh heh.
siap letak alarm clock.
harharhar!

after which i went to ubi AGAIN lor.
for both my rtt and btt trial test.
(oh, dengar2 training cancel. okay tu je)
after my rtt trial test.. i did about 4 papers..
met up with yan and abu.
yan just enrolled~
yeaps..

then, had my btt trial test.
okay, nie part aku ade sikit shocked ah..
pasal ade only 6 papers..
and i managed to complete all of them..
(okay, i failed one paper)
heh heh.

but, i think..
i should be able to pass both my rtt and btt.
and continue with my continuous learning of proper handling of private transport.
nyaahh~

okay dah~
i want to prepare myself mentally to watch hikmah.
its gonna be on in about 20 mins.
=))

-sungguh lawar.com!-

duX`-

chat logs.

2006-10-08T17:14:00.001+08:00

heylo.

okay.
quick one before i kluar rumah to go buka with the parents and brother.

was reading through my chat logs..
and it left me feeling kinda disappointed.
hah.
but, tak ape lah..
like i always said to norman..
"sayang.. yang sudah tu sudah.."
*imitates imran ajmain*

hahahahaha.
okay belo-ness.

ive got another two hady songs.
so that makes it 15 songs.
wah.. whole season or whattt..
hahaha.

i dont know what to blog anymore.

im sorry if i pissed you off or something.
if you insists im overreacting, then okay.
i apologise again.
i should listen to you, aint i?
you're my sister after all.

no, im not a stranger.
i will never be.
like what my adek said to me..
i'll say this to you..
"orang-orang lain dalam hidup adek, adek boleh lepaskan. but not you. you're one person who i look up to and cared soo much for."

i was moved when she said that to me.
i hoped you do too.
even if it doesnt come exactly from me.. but i mean it.

we've gone different paths in life.
we're not where we used to when we could see each other everyday..
all we can do now, is to look after each other from afar..
because, theres too many things in between that separates us.
but, for all thats happening..
i still care and love you the way i do, for the past 5 years.
nothing's gonna change that.

you may not need me to be there like i used too..
but, if there is at any time that you do want my company..
i'll be glad to.
im just a phonecall away.
*big hug*

okay dah~

that is soo last yearrr~
stop it with the face siakk..

-i dream.. i can run..-

duX`-

aku ingin menjadi..

2006-10-08T02:06:00.000+08:00

heylo.

buka-ed over at west coast today.
kak nazar's place.
was fine.

after which the usuals at 7k.
danial was there too.
heh.
cute la he.
memel brought his gf over too..
hahahaha.
no comments.
i think, the laughter says everything.
okay, im mean can..?
;p

anyways..
what anger are you talking about..?
do i look like im angry about whats happening around right now?
ive not said anything.
im not being emo.
so whats the problem?

ive given her all the blessings i can give.
like im restricting her now?
no, i dont.

if the plans you had together had to be disrupted a little bit because of my family's outing with her.. that's your problem.
because, as much as we're not together anymore.
not everyone in my family knows.
and all this while we've been close, you should know how my family has treated her like our own.

if you think im overreacting to what you said.
then, too bad.
because, as much as i screwed up in this relationship..
i deserve some credit to how both of us survive 3 years, as a couple.
sadly tho, things have to come to an end.

not the kind of end that i wanted..
but, its nothing i could have done to change the outcome.

still, i dont get it.
why do you think im angry over something?

is it wrong for me to take it all in..
and see her with a new guy?

why?
do you expect me whine and moan like i used to?
people change, sis.

like you said..
dont be like him and you.

he whined and moaned and complained.
and look what he got himself into?

why cant i be gracious and just accept defeat?

i still text her.
i do call her.
but, i know my limits now.
i know she wouldnt want me to call or text her every few hours.
i dont do that.
i dont go around and ask people about who is she out with..
who am i to do that anyway?

bottomline is..
im FINE.
get it?

so to everyone concerned..
stop trying to feel sorry for me..
life has to move on..
alright?

okay dah~

back to informal tone.

okay lahh..
im seriously fineee..
nyaahhh~

england just drew with macedo-whooo?
so much for making changes in the team..
change ke hape!
stil trying to be so safe..
boring la tengok england macam gini..

buka-ing out later again..
entah mak aku nie nak pergi mana..

i think brother just left to send KL back home..
kesian kena naik moto dah pukul 2 pagi nie kena pergi wdls.
tapi, responsibility dier eh?

okay, i think i nak sleeep~
but, the neslo is working lahh..
gonna shut my eyes lahh!
=)

okay dah jugak~

-not only on a piece of paper..-

duX`-

rasakan cinta yang tulus.

2006-10-06T00:05:00.000+08:00

heylo.

okay, my title is always random.
so, dont bother trying to understand what i mean.
heh.

i dont exactly know what day this post is going to be posted on..
but, i'll just take it its friday today.
coz, its 12.00am when i start to type this.

so okay..
wednesday as planned..
my smelly-tempeh buka-ed over here..
before that sent her hp for repair..
again.. the same problem..
but this time, warranty card disappeared.
aiyarr..
must pay $20 liao.

after that went to meet the mother~
heh heh.
i sumpah got phobia to hold newborns.
like seriously la eh!

then, went home for buka..
melvina's shop sells great green apple snow shake!
harharhar.
was soo shock la cann!
melvina selling bubble tea at the shop opposite my block!
heh heh.

buka-ed and everything.
the swift guy came over and kena "interrogate" by the eldest.
hah.
i still want the swift.

watched dragon tiger gate while isy took a nap.
heh.
at around 8.30 woke her up..
and went to al-kader.
where we met mel only..
just slacked lah..
nothing to do anyways..
left around 11 to catch the last train to boon lay!
on the way to interchange..
i made sure isy know what exactly i felt.
im fine with the way things are going right now, okay?
=))

after which, i met the usuals at 7k.
this time abg joined after ayie left..
and we sat there till about 3.30.
hah.
tak tido sampai sahur..

yesterday..
met up with norman at the interchange..
swear i miss that guy.
hah.
went to school and TRIED to settle most of the things..
but, cant la eh.
kuaajareh!
heh heh.

that took quite a long time okayy..
called supi up to buka together..
but, kesian.. ader rugby.
hah.
orang giler jer ader training malam2!!!
heh heh.
sad you missed KFC!
;p

later on i'll be having my practical lesson four.
mintak2 pass, but.. i dont a have good feeling about this lesson.
so, prolly be taking it again on monday.
yeaps.

anyways.
a big shoutout to imam!
happy 19th birthday boy!
i know, i was rushing to update this before 12am.
but, connection's was kinda fuct up.
so, terlambat sedikit.
sorry eh!
but but.. hoped you enjoy your birthday!
and definitely big big congratulations on your bike lesen!
DA PASS SEY!
=))

to everyone else..
school's a bitch.
but, hang on aite?
especially to two of my peeps.
you know who you are!
insya'Allah it'll be fine!
because, i still want to duet with you!
hah.
macam paham je aku.

most probably be buka-ing outside again.
nyeh~
house of briyani.
norman da ajak.
hah.
dengar2 member dapat tu duit.
advance 10 hari.
walao eh!

okay dah~

if it's loving that you want..
come and take a walk with me..

-talk to me about your dreams-

duX`-

hah. surveys!

2006-10-04T11:28:00.000+08:00

heylo.

okay, i shall do this because maryam tagged me.
because, she knows i hacked into her blog.
and because her password was too easy to guess.
heh. sorry ah. ;p

1) single, taken or crushing?Ans: eeeps~ err, single?

2) Are you happy with your life now?Ans: enjoy life la, life's too short too not be happy with it.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him fast?Ans: you know, you dont need to love the right person you know? knowing that he is the right person is good enough. =)

4) Have you ever been heartbroken?Ans: hah. entah la kan.. i also dunnoe.

5) Do you believe that there are some circumstances, where cheating love is acceptable?Ans: aye.. cheating love? tak paham lah..

6) Would you take someone back if he cheats on you?Ans: everyone deserves second chances. =)

7) Have you ever talked about marriage to someone else before?Ans: marriage eh! of course la.. you talk about marriage to your close friends!

8) Do you want children?Ans: err.. who doesnt?

9) How many?Ans: in an ideal world.. two would be enough. heh.

10) Would you ever consider adoption?Ans: i want to adopt angelina jolie's son/daughter cannn?.

11) If someone likes you now, what do you think is the best way for him to let you know his feelings?Ans: quote"OEI! I LIKE YOU LEH! HOW?" unquote.

12) Do you enjoy getting into relationships?Ans: depends how much i want that certain rship.

13) Do you believe in love at first sight?Ans: nah, its you who feel all the love. not exactly for the other person.

14) Do you believe you can change someone?Ans: hah. no. i suck at changing people.

15) If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?Ans: i want to hold my wedding at the london eye can??.

16) Do you give in easily when you're fighting?Ans: fighting eh? wah.. like that ah..chialat eh.. fight2.. if i i give in.. i die lah..

17) Do you have feelings for someone right now?Ans: isy? but.. (see previous post)

18) Do you ever wish that you could have had someone, but you messed it up?Ans: like duh la can!

19) Have you ever broken a heart?Ans: hah. everyone would say im a master at that.

20) If one day your best friend falls in love with the guy you are deeply in love with, what would you do?Ans: hah. my bestfren..? who siaaaaa? do i even have oneeeee..?

21) Are you missing anyone right now?Ans: my ngage can?

22) Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs. Write down their names in list below.

dont have to la.
i think everyone do already heh.

kailing. me and my new shoes!!
in the plastic bag of course.
haha.

okay.
meeting isy later on.

okay dah~

-into a million pieces-

duX`-

i'll be.. two steps behind.

2006-10-03T05:07:00.000+08:00

heylo.

something for you, isy.
=)

Walk away if you want to
It's okay if you need to
Well you can run but you can never hide
From the shadow that's creeping up beside you

There's a magic running through your soul
But you can't have it all
Whatever you do , I'll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go , and I'll be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around, I'll be two steps behind

im fine with it.
seriously.
i can see that you're happy with him.
so go on for pastures new.
go seek your well deserved happiness.
but, just so you know..
if you need help.. theres me who you can turn to.
i'll be there behind you.

just hoping, you wont disappear suddenly..
i know you wont.
we'll make it gradual.. and eventually break the news to mama, aight.?
but, even so.. you know you're most welcome to hang around here..
because, my parents and brother loves you.. okay?

its just so hurtful typing those.
but, i think its just time for me to let go..
dont get me wrong, baby.
i want you back.. but, if you're not going to be happy..
theres no point.
its obvious you're kinda swayed with what he's doing..
so, i want you to go on from what you guys are having right now, aye?

no, im not mad, angry, pissed or whatnots.
maybe, i should start thinking about what you need/want.
and, it seems this is what that is right for you now..
so, i shouldnt be selfish.

i'm always here, aisyah.
you know how loyal i am as a friend.
and, you're no different.
i'll be here, if you want me to.

to: dwi//dian.
dy loves you.
im sorry you were not given a chance.
but, it all happened so fast..
it's suddenly gone.
my heart crushes everytime i think of you.
i'll never ever forget you, love.
not even a second.

aisyah.
three more weeks..
its three years.
three years since you said yes.
i dont regret spending those time with you.
in fact, it opened up my eyes and made me learn about life.
you made me who i am right now.
good or bad, i appreaciate everything that has happened.
all those morning, nights, breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper..
everything..
it's all worth it.
it's all fucking worth it.
we have our fair share of problems..
but, we both know that nothing will take us away from each other.
everything bad can happen, yet we know that our love so strong..
nothing will tear us apart.
im so thankful that im part of this beautiful relationship.
everything tho, doesnt necessarily have to have a happy ending.
unfortunately, ours doesnt.
but, look on the bright side..
you found someone better.
i hope, what ive given you for the last three years..
is enough to put you in good stead for the future..
while you learn more things and combined with the past..
things wont have to happen the way it did.

i wish you all the best.
but, you'll forever be my w!ckeD-d!L.

we'll still see each on wednesday, right?
;p

anyways, guys&girls.
after tearing abit just now..
i should be okay..
dont nudge2 me on msn asking if im fine..
i'll appreciate the time alone you people give me.
=)

well, time alone is what ive been wanting, right..?
now, ive got lots of it.

-pertama kali ku melihat wajahmu, yang ayu..-

duX`-

kau auraku.

2006-10-03T01:24:00.000+08:00

heylo.

been an unexciting few days..
nyeh.

i don't really know what to blog about.
heh heh.

on sunday.. went to bedok north for buka.
grands place..
yepps..
was okay lah..

after which the usuals at 7k.
heh heh.
but, it wasnt till late..
until 9.55 je..
nak tengok man u vs newcastle game.
okay, nufc lost again.
but, its okay..
we will improve.
hah.

monday..
which is like an hour ago..
had practical lesson 3.
went to cdc with memel..
he wanted to book his rtt.
yeps..
he didnt wait for me in the end.
nyeh~
must be out with natrah(whatever the sp is, i dont know) .
heh heh.

my practical lesson 4 is on friday.
lama lahhh..

and i still dont know the crank course!
how!?
nemind, more revision will do the trick.
insya'Allah.
for now, i want to go masjid to derma.
because, i told imam that if i passed p3 first time..
i'll derma. so, im going to do just that..
but i think, im going to wait till gaji comes.
now, no money.
seriousss..

after which i went home..
blablabla.
gi amik lauk..
fetched mother..
and back home for buka.
yeps..
there's only four of us.
me, second brother, and parents.
and, damn. it felt good.
wont say much here lah.
;p

met the guys awhile just now..
went to bedok north's pasar..
heh.
had fries and cut-into-8-pieces spring chicken.
=)

and here i am.
nyah~

so boring right..?

situation check.
still unsure.
i do miss her.. but, everytime i think of her..
i'll think of the him as well. (okay, that sounds wrong)
i mean, why should i think of her when its someone else that shes thinking about.
she may be thinking of me, but..
entah la kan.
im just telling myself to forget about what shes doing because someone else is taking care of her.
not me. most probably, never will anymore.
big big sigh.
sad huh..?

okay dah~

sakura international. 22th september 2006.
thanks mad inc. =)

-kemanakah nak ku bawa, resah kian melanda-

duX`-

oh!

2006-10-01T07:11:00.000+08:00

heylo.

okay, the title is random.

saturday was macam biasa lah.
heh heh.

mum woke me up at about 8 in the morning to remind me that she's gonna call me to follow her go market after shes done settling stufs at the maid agency.

after which i put the alarm clock at about 11.30 to get ready..
dah bangun semua..
sampai 4 plus pon belom balik2 eh!
nak pergi pasar ape kol 4 petang eh!

abeh tu last2, mum and dad went to the pasar with the maid only..
abeh tu cakap tangan sakit angkat berat..
ade anak dier tengah tunggu dier nyer tepon nak ikot pergi pasar.. dier tak call..
abeh tu sakit tangan pulak.
nyah~

so, around 12-ish i went to purchase some players for the pro evo soccer game.
abg kept wanting cristiano ronaldo.
but, his team wont budge..
and i kept trying.. but mati2 tanak jual..
i dunnoe what else to do.
hah.

and i exchanged palm(our best-attributed striker) with adriano!!
oops~
abg wanted to keep palm instead of tavano..
i tried exchanging with tavano..
but, they didnt want to...
so, i tried my luck with palm.. and they accepted!
heh heh.
so, no more palm!
but, nevermind.
i got.. rooney, tevez, eto'o. tavano and adriano!!
i like laaa~
my midfield acquisitions are not bad too okay!
i brought in kaka and mascherano.. waiting for ronaldo!
with the almost complete attribute joe cole, alex hleb, alan smith, duff, joaquin, wiglemton and ragol kadoki!
yey!
stronger than ever.
heh heh.
defence side pon okay ah actually..
i brought boulahrouz! haha.. tinggi siak dektu..
abeh tu clumsy..
still not so good yet ah... but with games.. his attributes will improve!
same as terry.. slow nak mampos..
but, nevermind..
i dont really concede goals anyway.
hah!

after the parentals reached home..
i got ready to go to sis-in-law's place at amk to break-fast..
yeaps..
so, dengar2 naik subaru.
hahaha.
abeh tu tunjuk2 the place where all the ___-meters are and trying to imply that minyak da habis.
nyahhh~
hey tak hey la!

had chicken rice there..
brother's mother in law cooked..
yeh..
i miss her tulang can!

and, i swear my aunt makes the nicest ondeh-ondeh.
it bursts in your mouth la!

okay, so after that..
mum saw the raja kuih advert on teevee and exclaimed..
"hey! its 24hrs!"

so, sis-in-law exclaimed.
"APA?? MAMA NAK PERGI RAJA KUIH???"
"ABANG! LEPAS NIE MAMA NAK PERGI RAJA KUIH!!"

heh heh heh heh heh.
sape yang paham.. smile aje la kannnn!
okay, im being mean.
mampos kalau abang aku yang first baca blog nie.
tapi takpe.
insya'Allah dier tak.
he got much better things to do.
=))

after which tak jadik pergi raja kuih because dad wanna watch liverpool game.
heh.

2-0 to bolton!
yey!
anelka and nolan more points on the fantasy premier league!
(:

midway through chelsea's game..
actually not midway ah..
about 20 mins..
i went down to 7k.
with the usuals.
kak tini, madi and memel.
hah.
talked crap la can..
me and madi was going on and on and on..
about how berat it is to wear the siglap jersey.
heh heh.
not being cocky.. but it is pressurising okay!

okay, now i really do miss secondary school.
model student or whattttt!

ive been kinda waiting up for isy to get home every day now..
worry la gitu kan..
=)

still unsure about the future!
but, i'll keep on smiling.
heh.
kalau tak smile..
nanti ressa ask her brain-eating monkeys and eat me up.
heh heh heh.

one week of puasa has gone..
that means.. THREE more weeks to..
SCHOOL!
yey!
cant wait la!

cant believe i survived till 2.2
heh heh.

but, more pressure again..
cause, i'll fail the opsy supp.
nyaaah~

okay, talked to isy a little bit just now.
and, she just went to sleep..
yups.

i think i took like half an hour to do this post.
long eh!
jarang2 aku update banyak2 gini tau!

okay dah~

enjoy!

-kenangan bersamamu, kasih-

duX`-

out with the sis.

2006-09-30T00:14:00.000+08:00

heylo.

kak ayn asked me out for buka because faizal wanted to see her or something..
so, instead of romantic nyer dua orang aje..
she asked me along..
but in the end..
faizal main sabun.. happy nah main dengan sabun.
heh.
but, it was okay..
because the ayam was FANTA-LICIOUS!
=))

heh.
we decided on surabaya's ayam penyet.
and we have four glasses of teh okay!
2 was complimentary..
it was teh-o.
and, being first timers.. we didnt know..
so, we ordered teh ais.
heh.
abeh, last2 we had 4 glasses of teh to finish.
tapi, tu tak penting..
yang penting..
the ayam was FANTA-LICIOUS!
harharhar.
right, kak ayn??
=))

that was outside paragon..
chilling.. dunnoe what to do.
heh.
until, kak ayn decided to call mel..
then, we head back to tamp to al-kader..
tatia, nurul and mel was there..
slacked awhile..
tatia menggigil or whattttt~
hahahaha.
belo-ness.
betol nyer princess.. tiga orang kena hantar kau balik eh!

after which we sat the the playground around the area..
talked abit lah..
the usual stufs.
geram sendiri tengok tees.
heh heh.
gringos eh!

kak ayn!
6th eh!
confirm with you again okayy~
=))

the other day on monday..
after my practical 1 lesson..
we went to watch tucker john must go to hell.

nice top righttt~
will be sending in to gmbms!
mintak2 menang tee!
heh heh.

then, that day..
on wednesday..
before my practical lesson 2..
had supplementary paper in school..
nyahh~

thats my new shoes!
thanks to mad inc!
heh heh.
was studying opsy at the library with norman..
and, putting my legs up at the cushion-ed chair..
then kena marah dengan security.
sedih siakk..
opsy was so i-dont-want-to-comment paper.
mintak2 pass.
heh heh.

okay dah~

lagi dua gambar edited by isy.
thanks aye!

thats taken on my birthday at parkway!
=)

heh.
this one at tanjong katong complex.
harhar.
was waiting for her top to finish altered.
kekek-ness.

mmm.. with all the love..
will it happen between us again..?
im not sure.
im really really not sure if we're gonna get back together again.

i guess, its my turn to be waiting for you.

-kenangan terindah-

duX`-

who me?

2006-09-28T14:30:00.000+08:00

i just died.

topshell..?

2006-09-27T04:57:00.000+08:00

heylo.

yep..
shits do happen.
but, anyway..
look on the bright side..
actually, i don't know what it is..
but, i'll try to be optimistic.

things arent exactly going my way this month aye..?
its ending..
just hoping, october will be a better month..
insya'Allah.

supi.
take what i said with a pinch of salt.
you see, don't always take things at face value.
you don't believe everything norman says when he's talking crap, right?
(sorry eh geng, example jek. heh heh)
there's always much more to what is being said.
so, think about it before you let your emotions take control.
why must you keep being so stubborn and still be keeping quiet??
i wont know, if you dont say it.
and when you dont say, i will have a different perspective of what you're trying to do.
thus, it will lead to misunderstanding. and the matter gets worse.
why cant we talk normally?
why do i have to start to get pissed before you show me some response?

okay dah~

i suker exceptional dengan caramel okay!
=))
sumpah lawar la!

eh, got one more issue i forgot to kluarkan ah.

i guess, this has happened quite a few times before.
only sometimes, it makes me really sad because i really hoped for it..
but, in the end.. you ignored me. like totally.
call yourself a friend.
thanks eh.

ive never asked really much from you.
but, when i do.. it means desperation.
if you didnt want to help or for that matter, unable to..
tell me honestly, i wouldnt be waiting beside my phone, waiting for your call..
now i know, you're not someone who i can turn to.
5 years darling..
looks like it doesnt mean anything to you.

okay dah~

heh.
i guess thats it lah.
nak subuh!

-alan smith is back!!-

duX`-

sunset.

2006-09-25T13:27:00.000+08:00

heylo.

waiting for bee to come over..
been watching the tv since morning.

okay. only the second day of puasa..
and im already buka-ing outside.
nyahhh~
tak sengaje okay!

-ixfudel-

duX`-

explorer.

2006-09-24T05:15:00.000+08:00

heylo.

define the term: explore.

but, anyway..
just finished sahur.
waiting for subuh noww..
tanak tido lah..
blog until subuh okay..

first and foremost.

a big big big big big thanks you!!!
to mad inc. and hilman.
for the gift.
heh heh.
walaupun aku yang pilih.
;p
tapi tetap aku sukaaa!

the treat at sakura international, where my camera battery goes EMPTY.
*yam! hows things RAW!?
heh heh.
hoped you guys enjoyed it as much as i did.
thanks soo soo much aye?

to supi and norman.
for taking all the trouble in trying to look for the pony cap and liverpool tee.
going all the way to jb and back.
i feel really bad okay~
):

i guess, its quite sad when you see someone able to buy gifts for others..
instead of their own family members.

to say that im going to embark in a new journey..
no, i wouldnt say that.

i used to want that.
ina brought me back to reality.
i appreaciate it so much girl.
all these while, no one made me look much deeper into a person..
you made me do it, and i realised.. im just going to waste my time with anyone else.

as optimistic as im trying to be..
i cant help but wonder if, im ever gonna get the chance.

farna said.
"but, like kesian kan.. your mum mengharapkan"

i love my mum.
i would do whatever it takes to make her smile.
to give her that piece of happiness.
i know, she wants the best for me.
but for now, im sorry mum.
the way things are happening right now, its out of my hands.
if theres gonna be a time where i have to say that im no longer together..
please dont cry?
)':

i guess, i deserved what im getting.

happy 35th.

-im still here.. for you.-

duX`-

hey hey.

2006-09-22T06:33:00.000+08:00

heylo.

meeting all the peeps later..
except one.
sigh.

miss that guy lah.

but anyways, hope it'll be fun later..
betol ke diorang nie nak blanje aku..
hahaha.

so, thursday was family day for me.
heh.
basically spent time with the brother, his fiancee.
after which, we cut the cake for this year's birthdays!
thanks to sis-in-law.
(:
the whole chicken became 1/4 chicken was funny.
heh.

honestly, im crushed.

-please.. don't go?-

duX`-

eighteen.

2006-09-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

heylo.

my eighteen.
was fine.

enrolled and stufs.

looking forward to finishing the necessary stufs.

-i cried on my birthday-

duX`-

mad inc + two.

2006-09-14T11:50:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so, at long last a organised mad inc outing.
but, without two members.
due to other commitments..
but, we had two replacements as well.
hahaha..

everything was great lah.
there was food, drinks, and definitely great people as well.

pics are up!
=)
sorry if the loading takes awhile yeh?

jarang2 aku update banyak2 gini..

so thats me, if you still dont know yet.

that is amira on the left. the + 1. heh heh.

thats hilman! the other + 1!

maryam and kailing. founders of phat.m (:

that is supi. who doesnt know how to play happy family. harhar.

and that is HAJI Norman. insya-Allah~

brothers. =)

we were like models up there okay!

oooh~ got hot babes la! (sweet nyer aku duduk..) hahahah!

heh heh. the guy(me) and the girl(norman). KAKAKAKAKA!

norman peace-ing, with hilman trying to imitate crouch's robot dance. hah.

so, after all the fun and everything..
while the girls went to take their shower..
the sun came down, it was breathtaking.
so, we, guys, decided to be cam-whores. hah.

the orange glow by the sunset!

look forward boyy. never turn back. aight?

heh. super candid. all this while scared someone would just run away with out cams.

one of the trying to be ARTY-FARTY shots. hah.

my favourite pic of the day. =)

thats us.
heh heh.
we waited very long for the sun to come out of the clouds okay!
its like, the sun is playing peek-a-boo with us.
nyaaah~

girls.

guys.

heh. i love when maryam gives that look!

peeps i hang out with in school. minus two.

and yay! group photo!!

time well spent.
AZEAN and IMAM.
you were missed lah!
tahu nak keje jek!

but, anyways..
results came out..
failed opsy.
hah.

kinda unexpected uh..
but, my greatest guess would be that i did terribly for assignment..
hmmm..

how did boon theam pass opsy ah..?
i can fail sia!
knnccb~
nemind, andrea also fail opsy.
heh heh.

so that means..
I PASS CMATHS1!!!!

YAY!
at least, i wont be kicked out of school due to maths.
nyaaah!

devil wears prada later on!
see you!

-my love, my valentine-

duX`-

wahlaoweyyy!

2006-09-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

heylo.

okay, im surprised and never thought that..
i would be glued to the tv watching hikmah every monday nowadays.
nyaaaah~

ive never liked these indon soap opera's.
the dia series also, i didnt really watch it..
i just like watching fitri ayu maressa. heh.

now, i find myself watching hikmah.
heh heh.
okay.

advertisements end.
be back again.

hah. the life of a very bored guy.

-tante ana!-

duX`-

nyaaaaahh!

2006-09-11T16:00:00.000+08:00

heylo.

im bored la cann!!

walaoweyy!

satu keje, satu training, satu keje, satu lagi keje, lagi satu pon keje.

entah sape lagi aku nak tepon!

wahpiang eyy!!

-..behind these hazel eyes..-

duX`-

wooots~

2006-08-24T15:12:00.000+08:00

heylo.

ahm revising my super important maths!
hah.

just doing the sums and everything else in the book.
okay, im super scared.
hah.

sumpah tanak drop out kerana maths la eh!

thinking of reading on opsy later on also..
yeahh..
(:

anyways, good luck to everybody okays!
kalau da bukak lect notes tu kan..
make sure understand okay!

dont just stare and dont understand.
and, remember what you all do in tutorials!
so, you'll understand better.
heh.

macam paham je aku.

more luck specially for my peeps~
norman, supi, imam, maryam, ling and azean!
(:

nyeh.
im sticking to my roots.
not one to follow others so much.

okay, 1st sept okay 4-f!
meerah's doing the planning!
heh heh heh.
right..?

lalalala~
better be going back to studying.

was just making forward leaps..
until then..

now, im taking two steps back.

-kau berikan aku bahagia.. kau berikan aku derita..-

duX`-

my saturday.

2006-08-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

heylo.

ya.
what a great day to end my saturday.

abang came back today..
hah.
poor thing.

but, he looks fine..
so, should be okay ah.

suppose to go karaoke tonight.
but, entah la kan..
some things happened.

was actually looking forward to it la eh.

even tho, we're like friends..
i put you right on top of the priority list.

think about it.
and, you do this to me?
thanks.

its definitely not the first time.

-macam-macam sebab kau boleh bagi, ape aku rasa.. kau tak tahu per-

duX`-

the works.

2006-08-12T00:30:00.001+08:00

heylo.

i ended at six.
was walking out of itas when i met norman at the concourse..
i knew he was going to watch the fireworks..
typical, he asked me where im going and stufs.
so, i told him that im going to watch the fireworks.

in the end, he tompang-ed me.
took cab from school.
with zah.
thanks aye?
owe you one big time.

so, after reaching esplanade..
we parted ways.
he was with zah.

i already set my mind to be alone today..
so yeah.

took a seat which i think that everyone would die for.
heh.
i think i got the best view ever.
like seriously.
i mean, i got no complains lah.
no obstructions anything.
=)

took pics and some videos as well.
not that im gonna upload..
its just gonna be in my personal gallery.
yeaps.
still envious to those who has a digital SLR camera.
nyeh.

today's presentation was definitely better than on tuesday's..
because, the following day was the national holiday..
so, the national day one must be better right..
did enjoy myself watching the works.
i oooooh-ed and aaaaa-ah together with other singapore citizens there.
twas fun watching it alone lah actually.

you know, when you're there..
you dont have to think of anyone else except yourself.
not sounding selfish or full of myself..
but, sometimes, somethings.. you would want to just experience it yourself.

after fifteen minutes..
when everything was over..
i walked slowly towards city hall mrt..
there was definitely alot of people la eh.
when the crowd stopped moving outside godiva/flash&splash..
i decided to just sit down by the side and wait for the crowd to lessen..
so, i sat outside flash&splash..
for about 30 mins..
twas fun observing people..

there's this couple who was sitting a few metres beside me..
there were wearing matching tops..
sweet aint it?
they were in each other arms and looked so happy together.

there's this another couple i saw..
who didnt have the best of times i suppose..
the girl was crying.. and the guy seemed like he wanted to just give up on everything.
and the girl also seemed like, shes threathening to leave him..

how different can these two couples be aye?
they were sitting just beside each other..
yet, they were lost in their own world..

me?
i was just sitting alone..
thinking of.. where exactly i am between these two couples..

how interesting.
i didnt get to any conclusion la eh.
because, i decided not to waste any more time..
and, go get the train..

was on my mp3 the whole way back..
just happy looking and observing people..

till, waiting for 29..
sya msged..
"how i wish i could watch the fireworks with you"

it shooked me big time..
i mean, i was suddenly brought back to reality..

i have her to think about.
not that its a burden or a bad thing..
but, its just the way it is right now..

i may be single and all.
i feel as though i still have the responsibility of making her happy..

and, norman.
i am truly fucked up.

why?

like i told you..
i am simply disappointed with myself..
i guess, i was thinking too highly of myself..
i thought i could handle everything..
but, i forgot that i was only 18.

i am only fucking 18.

not even enough to buy myself a pack of vices at the 7-11 nearby.

so, why am i stuck in this hole?
a hole that i couldnt crawl out of?

why couldnt i just go and enjoy myself with peers..?
why do i have to think of anyone else other than my immediate family?

im not blaming you aisyah.

i just brought this upon myself.
i rushed things.
now, im facing the consequences myself.

all this restrictions i have..
i only have myself to blame..

if, i really do want a serious and committed relationship..
ive to let go all the freedom that i could have.
if, i continue to be going out.
it just wouldnt be fair.

i dont want anyone to be waiting for me.

i am in a mess myself.
im just so confused right now.
i dont know what i want.

im just afraid that..
after all that you've done for me..
and i have to reject you for some reason or another..

and, there i am..
labelled as a jerk who raised your hopes high up..
but, in the end..
i crushed it.
hard.

when will i ever think long and hard?
when will i ever know what my heart really wants?

-please forgive me.. you're the only there ever was..-

duX`-

sigh.

2006-08-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

heylo.

before anything.
I ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT ANYONE TO ASK ME ANYTHING REGARDING THIS POST.

why do guys get punished for every single little thing they do wrong?
why do the other sex always fails to understand?

why do they always avoid the problem?
why do they always stop talking?

when, i didnt do anything.

this just makes me worse than im already am.

what did i do wrong?

DON'T EVEN THINK OF ASKING ME WHAT'S WRONG, ALL OF YOU.

-sigh..-

duX`-

lalala~

2006-08-04T23:08:00.000+08:00

heylo.

okay, so thats me.
hahaha.

nothing to really blog about lah..

one more report..
and ALL assignments done!
yey!

oh, actually i just remembered..
communication skills.
meeting minutes.
leceh noh!

and, have to conduct a meeting.
nyeh.
im hoping it'll go well.
and, looks like another round of formal wear!
yey!
harhar.
sukerrr..

okay, thats it.

-kian jauh..-

duX`-

nyeh.

2006-08-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

heylo.

past few days has been fun actually.
yeh.
i got two stufs from topman..
for under $10!
yey~

heh.

good thing deadlines are today and monday.
after that, can go and study for exams!
yey!
(and, i meant that YEY! okay. i love studying for exams. seriously. not sarcastic eh.)

k bye.

KAU MANA PEH BIG FUCK BOYY?

-kita singgah di dunia yang sementara-

duX`-

reasons.

2006-07-30T16:51:00.000+08:00

heylo.

and when i think back of what i did..
i know, its wrong to stray away..

but, c'mon lah.
i know, its not entirely my fault.

for so so long, ive tried to take it in my stride..
for so so long, ive tried to just accept it..
for who you are.

until, i just couldnt take it anymore.
i had to get away.
i had to leave.

everyone thinks its all pretty and lovely between us.

i just wished..

you would trust me, after being together for so long.
you wouldnt get angry every single time I get angry at you.
you would let me go out with my friends, without you getting jealous.
you wouldnt give me sarcastic remarks everytime when i stay out late.
you would listen to me, whenever i have something to say.

i just wished..

you would treat me alot better than you used to.

there isnt any time for me in your schedule anyway.
its just been the girls.
they are the ones for you.
not me.

when, i wanted so much to meet you.
you shrugged it off saying..
"im with the girls, ask KY ah."

and, fact is.
you didnt bother about me.
when i asked KY whether i could join you girls..
you didnt bother to msg and persuade me to come.
because, i was out with my bestfriend.
KY did.

since, you didnt bother about me.
why should i always be the one to bother about this failing relationship?
not that i dont care.
im just tired.

tired that i have to do everything.

-we may yet have a chance, but.......-

duX`-

ah.

2006-07-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

heylo.

not to direct this to anyone.
just want to get this off my chest..

those people who think that i take this break up lightly..
fuck off alright.

-back three years-

duX`-

mistake. learnt.

2006-07-26T17:33:00.000+08:00

heylo.

yeps.
i agree with sya.

why do we take things so seriously?
why cant we just be normal teenagers?
all this pressure, in trying to make everything work out..
ultimately led us to our change of characters..
but, i guess.. we just fell short.

i do admit my mistake too.

it wasnt all plain sailing.
duxefil had its ups and downs.
but, for now..
it'll stop here..

kalau ade jodoh tak ke mana.

so, anyways..
things are looking good..
we're talking.
friends aye?

mdbs suck.

dsag's lab test tomorrow..

maths test was do-able.

wwnk is finishing soon.

opsy just no comments.

so, i guess school's been fine.
nyah!

thanks to everyone who tried to cheer me up.

had a great night of talking with meerah the other day..
sometimes, friendship surprises you once in awhile..
i was never close to you in school aye meerah?
i guess, i can talk to her better because she thinks like a woman.

mmmm, why wasnt rina with us anyway..
*rolls eyes*

-to think, we've never been friends before. aye?-

duX`-

what's next?

2006-07-25T10:52:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so, i guess this is it.

but, its not always my fault, aisyah.
you reflect on this.
just think, where everything had gone wrong..

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.
you have been the one.
been the one for me.

-aku hanyalah manusia biasa, yang tak pernah lepas dari khilafku..-

duX`-

bamboo!

2006-07-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

heylo.

during mdbs.
maryam went crazy with hips dont lie remix with bamboo.
was dancing all the way..
and it was a pity im not using a camera phone.
nyah!

what is that, that i want?

you wished im not your boyfriend?
ive NEVER wished you werent my girlfriend.
ive heard that for so many times, i think it's time, you ask yourself if im worth it.

i love honesty.
tell me more.
i shut down because, i heard that for the umpteenth times already.
and, i really think, you should ask yourself.. if im the one for you.

why is it so fucking hard for you to apologise?
saying thanks also takes a big chunk out of you aye?
why is it so fucking hard for you to just admit that you're wrong?
why does my efforts to make you happy go unnoticed?
the hardest words to come out from you are simply..
sorry and thanks.

i understand the need for friends..
i understand the need to be with the same sex..
but, if you're going to be wanting to be together with a girl.
i dont see where i exists in your life.

it has nothing about me.
NOTHING.
where do i stand?

what else i want?
TRUST.

-musuh/teman..? (aper kau peh maksud boyy?)-

duX`-

.

2006-07-21T01:32:00.000+08:00

menanti sebuah jawapan

never want to make you cry.

2006-07-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

heylo.

meaningful lyrics.
thanks kakak for this song.
=)

enjoyed those few hours having lunch with you in school.
heh.
thanks for the ribena!
and, cuber amik rezeki yang percuma eh!
harhar.
even if its reds.. theres always me!
heh heh.

never wanna make u cry
never wanna make those tears, come to your eyes

I know it's been hard between us
Don't know who you can trust
But girl it's me
cuz what we had was more than just luss
It seems that we always fallin'
But that don't mean a damn thing
Just as long as we always have an understanding

So put all of your bettings on the side
Cuz i'm gonna take you on a ride
And forget your pride
I never want to hurt you lady
So just come and hold me honey

I wanna make you mine, all the time
Thats no lie
I wanna make you mine, all the time
Thats no lie...girl

Never Wanna Make U Cry
Never wanna make those tears, come to your eyes

You think that i really don't love you
That could never be true
Cuz no matter what i'll always be real to you
So tell me what i layed on my line
Without you i'm ready to die
Cuz it's so hard for a man who expresses true love

So put all of your bettings on the side
Cuz i'm gonna take you on a ride
And forget your pride
I never want to hurt you lady
So just come and hold me honey

I wanna make you mine, all the time
Thats no lie
I wanna make you mine, all the time
Thats no lie...girl

Never Wanna Make U Cry
Never wanna make those tears, come to your eyes

-i'll be real to you..-

duX`-

whats wrong with everything..?

2006-07-18T00:51:00.000+08:00

heylo.

yeah, i always start out with saying hello..
i always feel that there should be a start and an end.
heh.
lame.

okay anyways..
i think i blog like once a week onlie la eh.

and, im suppose to not be blogging alot tonight.
haha.
dont ask me why..
i just feel i shouldnt be blogging alot tonight.
nyeh.

anyways, skipped pst training today..
unsure if im going tomorrow or not..
the day after.. the day after that.. and the day after that..
hmmm..

thanks for the invitations given out to certain people
but, why should there be any restrictions..?
yes, you're "big".
but, where's all the respect gone to?
kau buat gini macam.. takde adat langsung ke?
talk about the need to follow rules..
are you following them..?
just because you're "big" doesnt mean you can do anything you like.
talk about improving..
how to if not given the chance?
talk about being fair..
well, you're never fair from the start anyway.
bleargh.
not that i care anyway.. but im just disappointed.

i thought it will last..
but, its ending sooner than expected.

i guess its the beginning of the end for me.
i went because of a certain someone..
but, since it's all gone..
i done have the drive anymore.
im just tired.

and with all these things happening around..
it makes things worse..
worst when invites are given out.
so much for being together.

ive made my decision.
i dont have to consult anyone.
ever since that certain someone is gone..
i know, i will follow suit.

02-06

-ive been addicted to you-

duX`-

mmm..

2006-07-10T15:04:00.000+08:00

heylo.

ahm in the library alone..
i dont know where the others are actually..
decided against calling kailing and maryam..
and, i dont have imam's number..
yeah.

so, i was late for wwnk.
and didnt go eventually..
haha.. after accidently meeting norman at level 1.
i decided to sleep there until 2..
when norman had to go for class..
im using his laptop now btw..

so, was reading thru archives..
and, like everyone else..
banyak benda gitu eh..
harharhar.

was reading about the 4f outing to simpang..
when can we see each other again eh..
the, "cool" gang in class. minus fahmi.
hahaha.
dektu selalu takde nak join kiteorang.
nyeh~

yey!
rina's coming back today..
hope to see her soon sia..
and like seriously, please talk to me in your mother tongue.
harharhar.
stop the slang girl!

yeah..
like norman says..
nothing is what it seems.
and, when someone is so unpredictable as it is..
it makes things more shocking when you find out certain stufs aye..

i feel like blogging all the way till 4pm.
(time check, its 5 past three now)
haha..
giler, aper aku nak tulis sampai kol 4 siakk..

pst's very i-dont-know-whats-happening right now.
alot of things are going right now..
and, im just confused.
kinda waiting for agm to be done..
thats all.

yjnap. lagi tak tahu aper dah jadik.
i think we're participating in the next comp that's coming up..
but, i dont think im playing.
because, the date is too close to sem exams..
and, i dowant to take my chances..

im also patiently waiting for my birthday to come..
nyah!

beebee's birthday is tomorrow!
yey!
=)

and, oh..
a shout out to my goodfriend. maryam!
happy nineteenth birthday girl!
may your business succeed!
hehehe.

eldest bro was looking around for a car yesterday..
and, i honestly think..
he can afford it right now..
just that.. if he can budget himself better..
i also think, it will be better for him ah..
and his wife.. and the coming baby!!
heheh.
cant wait for sis-in-law to give birth..
altho its due year end.

and, my elder cuz just gave birth..
yesterday..
to a boyy~
yeah.
i think the name's adam.
yeps.

okay, ten minutes have passed..
and i am being so random..
i dont think i can hold out for another 40 minutes of blogging.
heh heh.

mmm..
why does everyone say its the same person..?
why cant it be someone else..?
takkan sampai korang cakap dier ajerr eh..?
dier pernah buat ape sey..?
kenapa tak boleh kawan-kawan aku yang lain..?
why must hal2 menipu = dektu-yang-tak-tahu-malu (refer to previous post)
pelik benar..
unless, korang seriously think he's always like that.
*shrugs*
you decide people.

rinaaaaaaaaa!
call me when your backkk!!

-i just want you to know who i am-

duX`-

loosen up my butangs.

2006-07-09T00:58:00.000+08:00

heylo.

kk..
this is for dektu-yang-tak-tahu-malu.
*winks*

kalau hidup asik nak menipu kan..
nanti susah tau geng.

tapi kalau tetap nak menipu..
biar dengan cara yang betol..
jangan sampai aku dapat tahu kau tipu..
tu namanya kau tak plan sebelom buat..

lagi2kan.. kau nak tipu members..
kau dapat member macam aku..
takde kecoh geng..
aku tak tegur.. aku diam aje..
aku tahu, kalau aku tegur..
boleh jadik gado..
betol tak kanak2..? ;p

respect have to be given..
before you get it.

geng, kalau aku tak habis2 busy with i-dont-know-what..
pi tengok pat cermin moto kau tuu..
tengok pat cermin tu lama2.. pikir la eh..
siapa yang busy.

kau da menipu geng..
menipu takper..
dengan members lagik..

camner nak percaya kau lagi?

sehari dua..
semua gerek..
kalau dah berhari2..
tu part, aku malas nak layan.

kalau kau nak hidup menipu..
aku sarankan.. kau hidup sendiri lagi baik..
kau tak payah la nak susah2kan hidup masyarakat..

take care take good.
jangan amik ganja iyerr!

-satu..dua..tiga.. BOOOOM!-

duX`-

yellow yellow dirty fellow!

2006-07-05T10:57:00.001+08:00

heylo.

ku idamkan satu taman dan juga mahligai yang indah tak ternilai.

-i love you-

duX`-

dont look back in anger

2006-07-05T10:25:00.000+08:00

heylo.

yes, i got tagged to do some weird facts thingy.

no harm done lah.
here's six facts.
or is it?
hehehe.

i think my sense of dressing is abit weird.

my favourite thing of all time is my soccer boots. i like it even more than my laptop. heh.

i can stay in my room like FOREVER. seriously.

friends say im smart. because, they dont see me studying but yet i pass my papers. but actually, i hate reading notes (not story books eh) so , i make it a point to understand what the lecturer is talking about and remember it. (:

i rarely update my playlist, and will end up listening to same songs over and over again.

i dont think i am ready to play the ibu rebana for agm. but thank God, abu is gonna play it now. heh heh heh.

okay, thats done.
in school right now.
having a few hours break..
10-3.
yeaps.

waiting for norman to come.. then we're gonna have brunch..
i think.
but, i no money lah..
how to eat.
nyeh.

mp06 was shown yesterday night.
i watched kp onwards..
and, i think the standard's really high this finals.
so, yeaps.

okay, i think the gigil-ing part was cute.
ahaha.
sheesh~
and, wd's juara is i like.
the voice eh..
(:

arnolds was fine.
9 piece is banyak..
but, we can actually ALMOST finish it.
heh heh.
and jana, just be happy come whatever that's gonna happen k.
you have us. duxefil to be there for you okay!

oh and italy won..
i missed about half of the second half..
germany tire themselves too fast..
lippi knows how to play his cards well..
putting in his subs at the right time.
but, the first half was so gerek la eh..
totti's vision and camoronesi's(sp?) runs down the right was something to die for.
lahm da macam adek2.
harhar.

but, germany stepped up in the second half lah..
by ot, germany da penat..
italy deserve but, quite unexpectedly tho.
i really thought germany could go and win it since its their home ground..
but, i was wrong.
yeh..

and france, please dont lose.

-menanti sebuah jawapan-

duX`-

hmm.

2006-06-24T06:20:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so, went jb the other day to collect eldest bro's newly painted fuel tank and blablabla for the whole bike..
waited quite long actually..
nyeh.
before second bro came, he asked me to buy cigarattes.. and after opening one for himself..
he put it on the dashboard and asked me to smoke if i wanted to.
that kinda shook me abit.
haha.
sheesh.

and yesterday, i followed second bro to do the finishing touches for the makeover..
bought/added a box, new handlebar grips, side mirrors, bracket for iu unit and new licences plate.
when, we were done with everything.. i thought it would be nice to surprise aisyah and have dinner or something after she's done with her first day at work..
but, when i reached town, chilled with norman.. as he was killing time to watch shorter and sweeter at 8..
johan came and said they're going to tp to watch a band concert by some secondary school.
so, that kinda disappoint me abit.
but, nevermind.

so, in the end i made my way home around 7-ish.
when yati was on the way to esplanade.. so, norman didnt have to wait so long..

while in 29, it started to rain ever so heavily..
nyeh.
i asked brother to come down and send me an umbrella.. but he asked me to run instead.
so, i ran across the street in the rain..

reached home, watched a little bit of soccer when aisyah called saying shes done with the concert..
so, i asked her to come over to eat instead..
after eating and stufs..
she left around 5.45 just now..

yeah.
thats about it lah.
jarang2 aku update pasal ape aku buat hari2.
and oh.. look at the time.
i have a habit of updating at ungodly hours eh.
lalalala~

-handphone boring.. tapi sayang!-

duX`-

bleargh.

2006-06-21T21:00:00.000+08:00

heylo.

its funny when someone comes up to you and say..
"eh, that girl knows you and she said alot of things about you"

when, the things she said was wayy back when bmx still rule the streets.
now who gives a damn about bmx-es anymore.

like come on lah eh..
fine, you know me..
but telling people stories that is untrue..
and is it something that happened way back 6-7 years ago..
foolish aint it..?

until now i really wonder..
what's up with the playboy stories of myself sia..?
like, i moved to tampines in 1998.
transferred to tampines north pri (tnps) in 1999.
so, basically i only had two years in tnps..
had two relationships.. first one lasted for around nine(9) months..
the other was around fourteen(14) months..?
so, i really dont know where does the..
hairul = playboy comes from..

what..?
just because i hang out with girls..?
fizah, wanie, wahidah, raihan and some others..
i can name you more guys la eh..
like, im in tnps's soccer team..
i play basketball with the chinese guys in my class..
im still clueless as to where the playboy tag come about.

but, who cares anyway..
im past that..
just a little surprised some people can actually talk about it again.

-dont be sick anymore! (:-

duX`-

i think..

2006-06-20T05:04:00.000+08:00

heylo.

dont ask me why im blogging at 5 in the morning.
i think i had a dream that someone asked me to change my blog song.

stupid dream right..
haha..
but, then again.. i dunnoe.
nyeh~

so had training yesterday...
we completed our intro part..
i have completed my part too..
*phew*

i find that the new pst guys are so into everything..
tak penat2 eh korang.. asik nak go on training aje!
penat tau main ibu!
harhar.
takper takper.
untuk korang.. tak kesah..

oh, and i thought the anugerah skrin's finals was on friday..
where the hell did i got that info from siaa..
so, was walking home when sya called saying shahril and huda won.
both also not my feveret.
nyeh.

and i got the habit of waking up at these times..
so, that should explain why im blogging right now.

i am definitely going back to sleep..
except that if it is fasting month now..
the family would be having sahur..
heh heh.
tak sabar nak puasa nie!
(actually tak sabar nak raya ah)

harhar.
bee! biler nak pergi buat your corset dahh..
dah nak raya niee..
kwang kwang kwang.

thinking of raya..
means, puasa..
puasa means MY BIRTHDAY!
heh heh.
sumpah tak sabar nyah!

school's starting.
and..
theres data structures project..
theres wired and wireless networking project..
theres mobile database project..
and, theres operating system project..
oh, and i forgot..
term test results.
so fun can?
*rolls eyes*

i am afraid my groupmates are doing the projects without me.
because everytime they nudge me on msn..
im not at home..
by the time i get home..
they offline already..
how..?
pkran siakk..

bee's looking for a new job..
anything to recommend..?

and, i think i better get back to sleep..
nanti da tak boleh tido.. aku bored pulak.

taking care.

-dung dung dung dung dong dong-

duX`-

pieces of me.

2006-06-17T09:50:00.000+08:00

heylo.

and for you this song i sing..
all my life, i pray for someone like you..

-i finally found you..-

duX`-

typical.

2006-06-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

heylo.

sebelom aku start cakap ape-ape yang korang-korang akan terasa..
i would like to quote..from a fellow blogger..

"nothing's personal.. its just blogging.."

aku tak heran la kalau korang-korang nak terasa..
its just blogging.. and kalau kau tahu kau da buat salah..
just think about it.

there comes a time when it starts to get irritating.
you can do whatever you want. i dont care.

but, when things are going well.. like it is right now.
ader pernah kau pikirkan ape orang-orang sekeliling kau rasa?
all you think of is yourself.

skarang kau tak heran pasal orang-orang sekeliling kau kan..
jangan nak harap bila kau susah.. you think you can rely on the people around you okay FRIEND?

the people can be your best friends'.
but, if you treat them like toilet paper*..
people hate it.

seriously FRIEND.
freaking grow up.
think like an adult.

but again i think..
maybe it just you.

but seriously FRIEND.
stop being sensitive, insecure and whatnots.

you're just making things worse.

kalau kau pandang aku member..
aku nak kau pikir aje la k.

tak perlu nak cakap banyak-banyak lagi.
kau tahu aku nyer cara.

you want your time.. take it.
but dont waste the people's.

-bleargh.

duX`-

8th world wonder goes to..

2006-06-11T22:14:00.000+08:00

aisyah!
heh heh.

okay so..
heylo.

okay.
so the world cup fever is up and affecting everyone in the world.

im also affected by it la eh..
been taking panadol extra since yesterday.

must be the weather.
lalala~

so anyways..
after the first few matches..

i think everyone know that germany is a relatively inexperienced team.
as agreed by the team captain as well.
even ballack said they might not go far..
so, we'll see..
but, i think they can do it lar..
i mean, they are at home..
and, with some exceptional players especially in midfield..
they can do well..
and yeah.. even tho they boast a great midfield..
i think the defence is unknown.
that is their weak spot.
;p

is england even worth mentioning..?
nyeh.
such embarassing display siaa..
what was sven thinking when he puts on downing for owen..?
downing looks as though he wants to play football with his son!
pemalas siak dektu!
joe cole did well in the middle..
but, losing rooney was probably the worst thing that could happen.
no spark at all.
becks keep coming into the middle.
gerrard looks so lethargic.
lampard was the best player for england against paraguay.
there were too many gaps left behind by becks in the right side that rio had to cover up so many times for him.
as the same thing on the left side.
both cole and cole. haha.. ashley and joe.
kept pushing forward.. leaving terry to cover up their mess.
england seriously needs rooney.

sweden played well, but couldnt capitalise on ten men T&T.
zlatan, freddie, and larsson could seriously play much better.
kim kallstrom looks good..
markus allback could seriously need some shooting practice..
and, they could start banging in goals..
with mellberg at the back.. defence look good too.
minus the inexperienced rami shaaban. who i think used to play for arsenal.
hahaha.

argentina and cote d'ivoire.
great game of football.
ivory coast have nothing to lose.
they threw everything forward.
leaving crespo, saviola and riquelme to run riot.
ivory coast have a good width around the team..
both sides are capable of beating full backs.
and, the argentines really had a problem with the cote d'ivoire's wingers.
but, it will be hard to see them progressing with holland and serbs in the group.

okay okay..
enough of world cup.
heh heh.

so, having the holidays now.
trying to keep myself busy with any shows that comes along.
but, i feel out of place around sw.
heh heh.

anyways, i need the money lah..
important event coming up.
so, i need to save up!
yeahh..

okay so.. everyone is in lovey-dovey mode.

some got themselves matching shoes..
some just spend time together..

its easy when you have money lah..
impromtu plans can be done when you have money lor..
but, i dont even afford to take the bus..
how to meet gf?
sad right.?

but, when you see ur friends are happy with their loved ones..
you feel happy for them.
right..?

i know i do.
im so glad both my guys are happy with their other halfs.
until takde time untuk aku.

okay. nevermind.

lalala~
biler nie nak september..
tak sabar tau nyah!
yang tahu, tahu la eh..
hehhe..

and and..
i got my bag already!
weee!
its orange.
hehehe.
sya's booboo got herself red!

i got the large one..
sya booboo got medium sized one!

birthday present to the both of us!
=)

i planned already what to do!
harhar.
and, don't you ask me what ive planned.
wait for exactly one more month!
heh heh.

badminton tomorrow at 1!
see you guys there okay.
taking care.

-sayang, yang sudah tu sudah-

duX`-

how eh..?

2006-05-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

heylo.

how eh..?
to put password on wireless network..?

anyone know..?
mobile me!
asap!

k thanks!

heh heh.
sia sia aje belajar mobile and wireless computing..
basic adding of password pon tak tahu..
hurhurhur.
bluek!

-aku pergi takkan lama-

duX`-

silence to be given..?

2006-05-17T22:38:00.000+08:00

You spurn my natural emotions.
You make me feel like dirt.
And I'm hurt.
And if I start a commotion.
I run the risk of losing you.
And that's worse.

Ever fallen in love with someone.
Ever fallen in love.
In love with someone.
Ever fallen in love.
In love with someone.
You shouldn't have fallen in love with

I can't see much of a future.
Unless we find out what's to blame.
What a shame.
And we won't be together much longer.
Unless we realize that we are the same.

we ARE the same.
but.. i can't seem to find the needle in the haystack.

sigh.

-aku takkan meninggalkan mu-

duX`-

urgh.

2006-05-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

you say alot of things.

but, i dont see sorry.

i am sorry, that i didnt go into my room to check my laptop.
and i didnt know its wrong to stay in the living room to watch tv with the family.

i am sorry, that i am interested in politics.
and i didnt know its wrong to know about The Government.

i am sorry, that i got angry.
and i didnt know its wrong to show a certain feeling, called angry, in a relationship.

i am sorry, that i am useless.

i am sorry, that he left you.

i am sorry, that you're sick.

i am sorry, that i wanted to know what game you're playing on yahoo.

i am sorry, that i am "mapeks".

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i am sorry, for being this way.
for being. Hairul Sahril Bin Mohamed Fuzari.
for being yours.
for being dy.
for being *mister.
for being ME.

yesterday.

2006-05-04T12:22:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so yeah..

im gonna talk about yesterday's events.
which left me quite sad.
haha.
emo siak.

anyways, came to school at aroung 9 for maths 1 tutorial..
it went well la..
i mean, its still the front2 part.. and still easy peasy..
so yeah..
heh heh.

so after the tutorial, me and imam went to flavours to eat..
after eating, we head to artspace..
only to find out dak2 sumer belom sampai lah..
but, its okay ah.. i mean.. we were early..
so we went to mushroom and sat there..
met supi awhile to pass imam's book..
she's mad at me.. haha.. for not messaging her whether to being the book or not..
im sorry okay gerl~

anyways, after sitting at the mushroom.. we head to itas again..
met norman at concourse after his cmsk lesson.
anyway, if you all didnt know by now..
the both of them came down and helped pst with the show.
thanks guys!
susah datang nak tengok diorang main dikir barat.
nyehahahah~

okay okay..
so it was norman's turn to have his brunch..
accompanied him lor..
after his brunch the three of us went to artspace..
we reached artspace around 11+ lah..
still nothing going on..
abu "servicing" his ibu and anak.
hehehe.

the guys, were just slacking away.
nothing can be done anyway..
so, we just waited for... nothing.

then, around 12.30..
about half an hour before the show then we got something to do..
like, changing to our baju and all..
pecahkan suara and getting our karut matang.

at first i thought, it was going to be okaylah.
when, i reached outside library..
i saw the platform.
mind you, its only one platform, right in the middle of the stage.
i was quite disappointed ah..

i can wish for alot of things..
but, i cant wish for the past to come back.. right..?

im not going to say anything about the current pst batch.
but, i do miss the 2002 one..
ya, i know. im not even here yet lah..
but, it was such a joy playing with the seniors in school shows..
like, i really2 dont mind skipping school to play for a non-important show..
the fact that it is so enjoyable makes anyone's day anytime.

but now..
sigh.
not that im unhappy about pst.
its just that.. where has all the malay guys gone too...?!?!?!?
omfg!

takkan takde darah melayu langsung kan!
alermakk..

quite saddening ah..
like, tak pernah2 seyy main dengan satu platform blakang ajer..
lima awok on it..
sigh.

yeah, and.. i wont comment on the show itself lah.
bleargh.

*..do the hokey pokey..*

after the show, slacked awhile in artspace..
before the three of us and fizah went outside for our daily mocha needs.
before imam and fizah went back to school for lessons while norman and me stayed there till about 4+..

then, i felt like eating lamb chops.
it's like my ever favourite dish la eh.
i love kambings.

but, when i went to the western..
the kakak there say got no more lamb chops.
then, i soo sad seyy..
like, nothing went well for the day lor.

it may not mean much to u ah..
like not getting to eat your favourite food is no big deal..
but, after the show i was shaken quite emotionally ah.

dont ask me why..
i don't know.

so yeaps.
its not much of the bingit ah.
its more of the sedih lor.
aiyoo..

but, the only good thing was the arrival of my motherrr!
yey~

mother, father and brother came back from jakarta.
bought alot of stufs.
including both sets (every raya we do two sets of baju) of baju raya for : 2007 RAYA.

thanksss..
haha.
belo-ness.

tapi the kain nice jugak.

yeah, so anyways.. in school now.
having data structures and algorithms.
or in short : programming.
nyeh~

visual basic this time.
c# prog ah.
its easier than java to me.
hehe.

i got make up lessons that's gonna stretch from 3 to 8 today.
thanks ah labour day!
bleargh.

supposed to go show at sentosa with SW tonight at around 6 lor..
but, cant already coz got lab make up.
bingit siakk..
the tutor emailed us like at 9 in the morning la eh.

okay, im done updating.
i think it's quite long already.

and, who ever reads this anyway..
haha.

-..aku hanya manusia biasa..-

duX`-

brother got engaged!

2006-04-18T01:26:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so yeah..

16th april 2006.
my bro took the next step!

harhar.

got engaged with armillyah.
=)

good luck bro.

some pics!

of myself tho.
harhar.

okay, thats the end!

btw, thats my youngest cousin!
cute kannn!

i think i look good in pink too~
KAKAKAKA~

-..if i had one wish..-

duX`-

nyeh~

2006-04-17T12:11:00.000+08:00

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

si and pentas.

2006-04-04T18:19:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so yeaps.

like ive promised.
i shall update on the si period and pentas.

so yeah..
my 2nd round of auditions was on the 18 march.
it was the third day of auditions.

like in my previous post that day, i couldnt really sleep that well the night before.
who could siaa..
it is so menyeramkan okay!

so i woke up early in the morning as my slot was at 9am.
i got ready and everything..
mum, dad, kak tini and abg madi were the ones present..
supi, norman and imam came tad abit later..
i told them so, cause i didnt expect the si to call us so fast.
so yeah, sorry okay people..?

anyways, while in the auditorium..
there were different kinds of people la..
supporters and us.
haha..

there was one in my group..
he was the one who wore army boots and the shirt which he bought from beijing.
haha.
funny.
he "sang" ice ice baby by vanilla ice.
nyah~
kekekness~

hurhur.
while in the auditorium..
each contestant had to be interviewed infront of the camera..
and there were two sides la..
one in the left stage.. and the other is infront of the stage slightly to the right.
meaning, one is ON the stage the other wasnt.
and i guess, the first sign was when my slot was ON the stage...
i was so malu, i even asked to be interviewed on the other side la.
but, the lady said i couldnt change and that i had to go ON the stage.
so yeah, the usual questions..
and the interviewer asked me to sing my second song.
which i really didnt practise la eh~
so, i belt out my number..
haha..
it was so memaluting.
everyone stopped talking and looked at me singing on the stage.
it was okay, except for a few shaky moments partly due to the air-con room.
so yeaps.

when it was time to wait outside the audition room..
i was already shaking like hell.
literally shaking.
there was this girl, not girl la.. already in ther twenties..
her name's gigi.
she held my hand and assured me that everything will be fine..
even if i dont make it i must be proud of that myself that i got to the 2nd rounds.
that made me felt a whole lot better.

after being interviewed one more time..
and waiting outside the audition room door..
the girl inside cued me to go in..
which i promtply did.
when i stepped in..
"OMFG! IM HERE!"
it was so bright with the lights and cameras.
the four judges sitting infront of you..
the producers to my left..
it was surreal, i tell you..

it was nothing like i felt before.
seriously.
so, i introduced myself.
"im hairul, turning 18"
then i kept quiet for about 10 seconds before i realised i had to tell them what song im singing.
heh.
"i will be singing let me love you. by mario."

i TRIED to calm myself down before singing.
started out very rushed.
and i knew i had to slow down..
but, i never really got to my rhythm.

i was stopped during the chorus part.. by none other than ken lim.
so the judges said their stufs.
i just smiled. and left.

when i went outside..
i saw them with gurmit and the camera crew already waiting for me.
so yeah..
talked a little with gurmit..
and that was the end of my singapore idol journey.

definitely no regrets.
i loved every moment, every second of it.
even tho the comments were quite ".....".
haha, fill in the blanks, i dont know what to say la about the comments.
i dont really care anyways.

i know, im not much of a singer anyway.
i mean, can you people imagine me singing infront of thousands of people?!
no right?
hahaha.
nyeh~

so yeah.
thanks for all the support everyone gave.
i really appreaciate everything.
=)

so yeah.
after that was supplementary paper for my maths 1.
i was sooo busy okay.
the class kept having gatherings to study together.
even some who doesnt need to take supp papers came down.
so yeah.

i failed tho.
must make sure that i dont fail this coming semester.

after that, was PENTAS : AKAR AKU.

story based on lyrics written by djohan abdul rahman aka bobo.

i thought it was fine..
some glicthes here and there.
i dont know if it meant anything..
but, im sure to the seniors who are graduating..
they would want this pentas to be as smooth as possible.

segment two was kinda "bleargh" for me.
lyrics tak hafal.. and soo sumbang.
and, we didnt have any feedbacks.
so yeaps.

didnt get to see any parts of the show..
busy touching up our own set for PST.

personally, i feel that we can do much better..
in terms of manpower and such.

well, busy as you might, if you talk about being together as a group..
you will be there if there is a need.
some just wouldnt come.

and i also thought the finale was too mendadak..?
like, takde feeling of a finale like that you know..
but nevermind.
its all over.

there is next year to look forward to.

good job to those involved for pentas:akar aku.

so that's the end of my promised entry!
hehheh.

i shall be here again soon!

-..im trying to forget that im addicted to you..-

duX`-

being so penat okay!

2006-04-01T10:58:00.000+08:00

heylo.

okay.

sorry for not updating much.
heh.
after the si period..
i became busy with THE supp paper..
and pentas.

sooo..
i promisee..
after today..
maybe tomorrow or monday perhaps..
oh, cannot.. monday cannot..
you just wait la k.
heh.
but, definitely soon..

i will update on both the si and pentas.

okay go!

-..akar aku..-

duX`-

such as.. 2nd rounds

2006-03-18T06:54:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so, i cant sleep that well.
tossing and turning.

sumpah takot!

but, nevermind..
i shall do my best.

just dont count on me to go through.

okay go!

wish me luck people~

-..the make up on his shirt..-

duX`-

such as.. entah eh!

2006-03-14T17:08:00.000+08:00

heylo.

okay okay.

i think im going to be random la eh.
heh heh.

first of all..
im still clueless of what my second song will be come saturday..
because, i have this tiny feeling in me that says..
"go pick one! the judges might just ask you to sing another song!"

ah yes..
so, im freaking out..
i dunnoe leh how.
nyeh~

three trainings before saturday.
howww..?
today, tomorrow and friday.

mesti takde suara bila on saturday eh..
but nevermindd..

hmmmm...
im listening to angel by dru hill?
hahah..
sheesh~

and advsing adek on her o levels this year.
nyeh~
haha.

okay..
i dont know what to say already.

oh rina..
i miss you too..

and where's meerah!?
mentang2 ade skin baru..
da takya carik aku ah!
nyah!
ahahah..

aku tak tahu la aper lagik nak cakap.

-..im living in the ghetto..-

duX`-

such as.. the new skin.

2006-03-12T13:57:00.000+08:00

heylo.

so the missus did a new skin for me while i was in camp..

heh.
it looks fine..
i like it lah..
because it is so plain you know..
the rileks kinda thing..
haha..
sheesh~

no more bright colours.
nyeh~

but, i like.
thanks okayyy!!
=)

anyway,
camp was fun fun fun.
i guess..
haha..

uurimian oeiii!

so, week zero..
here i come!

heh heh.

lalala~

werk has been fine..
but, damn.
it is so tiring lah ehh..
stacking and doing layout..
follow the distribution list..
tying using the rafia stringss..
sheesshh~

but, its okayy lahh..
need the money lah..
and the pay is like one month lah eh!

but, nevermind.
i shall just stick to it..

my auditions will be on the 18th.
so wish me luck okayy people!
heh.

but, dont count on me to go through la eh..

peace!

-..uurimian..-

duX`-

such as.. the kaypo girlfriend!

2006-03-11T04:10:00.000+08:00

Nyeh!
Bored. Twas touching up on your layout. Nice I like. Suits the song. =)

I hearts you like nobody could ever hearts you lah.
Muax.

*missus.

such as.. leaving.

2006-03-08T09:04:00.000+08:00

will be gone.

such as.. contrivium

2006-03-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Hairul sahril!

The colour of hairul sahril is no indication of his spiciness, but size usually is.
If you lie on your back with your legs stretched it is impossible to sink in hairul sahril!
The condom - originally made from hairul sahril - was invented in the early 1500s!
Hairul sahril has four noses.
The porpoise is second to hairul sahril as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
Hairul sahrilicide is the killing of hairul sahril.
Olive oil was used for washing hairul sahril in the ancient Mediterranean world.
Hairul sahril was the first Tsar of Russia.
Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with hairul sahril!
Hairul sahril has a bifurcated penis.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Siti aisyah!

Siti aisyah is physically incapable of sticking her tongue out!
The Eskimos have over fifty words for siti aisyah.
The only planet that rotates on its side is siti aisyah.
Astronauts get taller when they are in siti aisyah.
Most bottles and jars contain at least twenty-five percent recycled siti aisyah!
In Japan it is considered rude to talk with siti aisyah in your mouth!
There are 336 dimples on siti aisyah.
Abraham Lincoln, who invented siti aisyah, was the only US president ever granted a patent.
Devoid of her cells and proteins, siti aisyah has the same chemical makeup as sea water!
There are more than two hundred different kinds of siti aisyah.

such as.. congratulaions!

2006-02-13T00:09:00.000+08:00

heylo..

"oh my god! my voice so shaky in there"
"it was so cold in the room!"
"how did you do?"

was just some of things said by contestants after they went out of the audition room..

for me..
when i left the audition room..
i was smiling.. because, i think i had done well in there..

quietly, my hopes raised a little..
when i was ushered to the results room..
i sat beside andrea..? is it..?
i dont know the spelling lah..
ressa, ameer, ressa's sis, mastura.. they were already sitting on the chairs..
while me, andrea and the twins sat on the platform infront of them..
all waiting for the results..
when, room 2 was announced.. (ressa's room)
it was left with me, ressa's sister and the twins..
four of us sat together..
and then, the gerl behind the table was telling us that only three of us got through..

"the first one is.. 1591.."
"oh..? is it me..?"
den, i look down on my shirt.. to look at my number..
and it's mine!!
hahah.
i was dumbstruck for awhile..
haha..

oh my god!
i passed the producers stage..
i dunnoe if its a big deal or not lah..
but, damn!
i was proud of myself lah eh!

den, got interview in the middle of the queue and all..
kecoh siakkkk..
i was so malu okayy!
hahah..
hopefully my interview doesnt go on teevee..
haha..

ohkay..
i dunnoe what to say already..
but, i know i wont make it past the second round lah..
coz, my voice is weak..
and i know, im not good enough..
nyehh~

but, for now..
reality hasnt really sunk it yet..
and, im still happy.
hahah..!
woohoo!

and, thanks to those who gave support.
=)

and, to baby..
million of thanks for spending the night with me.
i love you darling.
=)

-those going through.. 1591..-

duX`-

such as.. being idolised

2006-02-10T19:20:00.000+08:00

heylo.

haha..

off to auditions!

macam paham ah hairul!

-you should let me love you.. but if i let you go..-

duX`-

such as... that..

2006-01-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

heylo.

just thought of something.

as much as it is something i love to do.
school is more important.
submission datelines are more important.
and, this is not to spite anyone in particular..
getting a diploma is most important that anything right now.
even though, i have to slug it out for two more years.

yes, maybe you say, i should organize my time much better..
but, sometimes, when you do.. things don't go your way..
and, errors like "no unique or primary key in column-lists"
comes out in your fndb project..
you just have to push everything wayy wayy back so that you could at least complete 70% of the project..
and, its not even there yet because of the little problems that might not have got to do with me..
sigh.

im sorry if i dissapoint.

-..i just don't get it..-

duX`-

such as.. the new academic year

2006-01-03T12:52:00.000+08:00

heylo..

heh hehh..

the kl trip was awesome.
nyehahaha.

yeh, like kak yan says..
its the company that makes the trip memorable.
=)
thanks guys..
=)

anyways,
school has started for virtually every student in singapore.
especially primary and secondary students..
and, my lil cuz is starting school too~
haha.
she's entering sec 1 todayy..
yey~

haha.
shes been posted to east view..
in express..
shes like me lahh..
not enough to go through automatically to express..
like me lorr..
not enough aggregate.
heh.
but, she chose express.
yehh..

good luck yeh lil cuz?
study hard..
coz, its really important..
you will definitely struggle in the first few months..
because, life will be soo soo hardd..
learning all the secondary stufs you knoww..

once you get your basics right..
everything will then go very smoothly.
=)
and don't mix with bad company yehh..
=)

well yehh..
just being concerned..
entering secondary is hard..
heh.
but, she'll do well.
she's a smart gerl.
=)

anyways,
ahm in school..
waiting until 2 for my cds..
and, i havent get my scripts for my drama yett..
dayummm~

oh oh..
rina is going off on friday..
instead on saturday.
sigh.
wont say anything more about that la.
so depressing.

oh oh oh!
i've selected my cds for year two already..
yey!
music is my first choice!
hehh..
and law is second~
=)
seriously hope i will get either one of the two..
yehh..

-..ilisy..-

duX`-

such as.. being away!

2005-12-29T06:13:00.000+08:00

heylo..

hey hey~

i will be away yehh..
going on a short getawayyy~
yey..

heh hehh..

with my kakaks and faizal and beeee~
=)

so yeaps..

dont miss me too much okay!

be back on new year's day yeh!

muuuaaaahhhssss~

-..sambal belacan..-

duX`-

such as.. being tagged!

2005-12-14T08:23:00.000+08:00

Rules of the game:1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself2.
At the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want next to this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules!

1. i love keeping my fingernails long, even though people say its unclean lah eh.
2. people find me weird because, i prefer plus-sized girls instead of those skinny pretty ones..
3. my hands shiver whenever someone asks me to draw something.
4. mad inc thinks im mad because, i rarely pay attention in class, yet i can pass my exams and tests. heh. ;)
5. the missus thinks im cute..?

wuahaha~
the last one was uncalled for and definitely not true.
;p

and, im tagging..
missus me, rina, roman, ahmad and farnamals.

im in java lab right now..
doing some application that copies stufs..
i still cant understand java and still trying my best..

ooooooh~
term test next week.
and i havent start studying because of the whole load of assignments..
the last one due today!
yey!
for comm skills.
bahh~
had to re-do everything lah ehh..
because the teacher wants to focus on social ettiquette(?).
so yeah, hadta scrap on the gameshow and hadta go back to plan a.
nyah!

hadta crack the brains out at ps sia yesterday..
to think of diff scenarios which would show good social ettiquette(?).

so yeaps, will start studying onlie after today..
with, java as the first paper..
den, have cmaths..
den, have fndb!!!!!
and last paper in computer architecture.
bahh~

fndb sucks mann~
heh.

will just hope to pass all lah.
but, ahm sure will fail fndb.
and java.
heh.
2 out 4 subjects.

susah noh~

-..from the tangles of my heart..-

duX`-

such as.. fndb AGAIN!!!

2005-12-05T16:42:00.000+08:00

heylo.

bahhh~

ahm in fndb again.
again so bored.
again complaining.

i dunnoe what to blog about already.

guys will never blog about clever stufs la.
haha..

unless he's someone with a degree or something ya know.
where, he will say about anything under the sun.
nyah~

and im still only a o'levels cert holder.
heh.

-swing swing swing-

duX`-

here without you. i miss you ladee.isy

2005-12-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

heylo.

just being emo for a moment ah.
haha..

A hundred days have made me older.
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.
A thousand lies have made me colder.
And I don't think I can look at this the same.
But all the miles that separate.
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face.

I'm here without you baby.
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby.
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby.
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight it's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'.
As the people leave their way to say hello.
I've heard this life is overrated.
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby.
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby.
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby.
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight girl its only you and me.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go.
It gets hard but it wont take away my love.
And when the last one falls.
When it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it wont take away my love.

I'm here without you baby.
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby.
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby.
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight girl its only you and me.

-im so missing you.. ladee.isy-

duX`-

such as.. fndb

2005-11-14T15:24:00.000+08:00

heylo..

ahm in fndb lab..
i swear its like dcnk ahh..
so boring..
haha..

now, onlie type2 ah..
but, im sure, the later part of the subject will be so hard.
haha..

nevermindd..

anyways, things been fine.
haha.
abg just got his car.
kia rio 5.
not just la.. around a week ago.
yerps.

raya's okay lah.
duit koleksyen tak banyakk~
boohoo~
how to go kl like that!!??
the missus is working, and her pay is like every week ah!
kecoh noh!
every week go shopping.
hahaks.
sorry baby, if i ketok ur money onlie eh now..
=(

anyways, she just bought a new phone lor..
the samsung flip phone..
the colour2 one..
not bad lah the phone..
haha, girly phone..
so, kena lah dengan dier..

bahh~

and i heard, azean's (tp) lil bro got n70.
bahh~
for a birthday present.
*jealous mode*
ahahaha.~
macam seeyakkk~

school has started for a week now.
for the new semester..
few changes lah..
kailing rebonded her hair.
haha~
and, i just commented that she looks better wearing tshirts with design than wearing plain tees.
yerps.
heed my advice okay gerl.?
harhar.

this weekend would be very busy for mee.
siglap on saturday.
panjy on sunday.
yeah.

harhar.
confirm fenats noh~

bah~
i dunnoe what to say ah actually.

okay.
fndb is so boring.
the tutor lagik sucks.
haha.

-kau puteriku.. ladee.isy-

duX`-

such as.. being with the gang again.

2005-10-27T04:33:00.000+08:00

heylo.

and so, the "gathering" turned out grreeatt..

everyone invited came, ones i expected lahh..

so there were,

rezza and rina.
meerah.
safwah and afez.
ahmad.
fadhil.
roman.
karuna.
me!.

it may not be alot.
but, at least i know, or we know,
that, we treasure this friendship that we have and will have in the future. =)
lurpss you people.

so, i was early reaching bedok interchange.
i reached there around 5.40.
so, i waited and expected roman to be coming soon.
but, i was alone ahh..
up until karuna came..
den, meerah called.
and say her daddyy driving her there..
so okay..
and i decided to call rina too.
coz, i know this gerl will be late one lorx.
and dennnnn, she say she meeting us straight there..
eeeessshhh~ siang2 boleh bilang dulu takkk..
nasib we didn't wait for you long2 ahhhh...

so anyways,
den, i called ahmad.
he said he was already on the way, with fadhil.
so, we waited lorx.
and ahmad told me that roman will be with saffez (safwah and afez) haha, cute right?
meerah gave that shortcut.
=)

and so anyways, me and karuna were left wondering.
how roman can be together with saffez if the couple were riding a bike.
harhar.

we waited. and waited for ahmadd.
when he finally reached bedok interchange around 6.40.
i asked him.
"why the hell did you take 17 for?"
he replied.
"oh, because i saw it goes straight to bedok."
so i thought.
"okay, maybe theres traffic congestion somewhere, that may have delayed his journey to bedok. with full knowledge that i thought, he knows how freaking long it is to take 17 from pasir ris to bedok"
and then, fadhil dropped the bombshell. (because i was complaining and complaining)
"ah tu ah, kol 5.45 baru nak naik 17"
i was soo enraged ahh.!
"i was like, ahmadddd!!! you were supposed to meet us at 6, and you took 17 only at 5.45!!!!!"
harharhar.
it was funny lah.

we took cab, from interchange to simpang.
courtesy of the dearest karuna.
=)
thanks gerl.

so, we ate.
we talked.
we laughed.
we remember old times.
and talked about the future too.

saffez had to go first because they had to meet someone. i think.
so yeaps.
they made their way out first.
den, around 8+
we went off.

rezza and rina went somewhere.
karuna went home.
me, meerah, ahmad, roman and fadhil took 9 to tanah merah mrt.

we thought of going to geylangg..
but, decided against it lah.

oh oh, before that.
we were at the tanah merah mrt station bustop.
ahmad wanted to go home already lah.
so i asked him.
what bus he wanna take from that bustop home.
he looked at the bus number thingy, and said.
"aku boleh naik 12 balik ah"
so i kept quiet. because i knew the 12 on this side of the road goes to bugis? is it?
and not back to pasir ris.
so i told him.
"ahmad, nanti kau naik 12 kan, biler kau da sampai rumah, kau call aku k."
and the rest was like.
" asal eh.?"
den i say lah,
"i think by the time he reached home, i would have gone to bed ahh"
onlie then, he realised he was on the wrong side of the road.
and i dont think he knew it anyways.
haha.
because he didnt want to move from the bustop until we hadta force him.
bahhhhh~

so den, we decided on slacking at tampines.
and so we did.
ahmad tagged along in the end.
harhar.
thanks ahmad!

and, ahmad seriously doesnt know how to buy the standard ticket.
my goodness!
this is his sequence of buying the STANDARD ticket k.

1. puts in his own PERSONAL ezlink.
2. press the destination station.
3. wonders why he had to pay until $10 to buy a STANDARD ticket from tanah merah to tampines.
4. repeat the four step sequence 5 times.

like HELLO ahmad!!!!
putting in your own PERSONAL tertiary ezlink means topping up money la geng!
aiyooo!
can still confess,
"yelah, aku punya first time ape!"
my gooooodnesssss gracioussss meeeee!!
nyahhh!

we were all like so terperanjat ahmad didnt know how to buy a standard ticket.
heh.
me and meerah were like. so shocked okay.
harhar.

the mrt ride was an eventful one.
with roman telling us how many mosquitoes he can evaporize with his new tennis racquet electrifier.
harharhar.
kekek-ness~

den, in the train.
he cracked the joke of the day okay.
we were all standing facing one side.
and he was facing the opposite side of us.
so he can see what our backs see lah.

suddenly, out of the blue.
he said.
"that guy just came back from Devil's Bar"
so, me and meerah asked why. we didnt bother to turn and look ah.
he said.
"you see lahhhh"
so the four of us turned.
and we laughed our ass out mannnn.
there was this guy, i think he just bought this.
devil three-pronged spear thingy.
the black rod, reg spear thingy.?
HAHAHAHA.
super funny ahhhh.
the whole mrt cabin were looking at the five of us ah.
hahah.
macam seeyakkk...

once we reached tampines,
we went to starbucks.
ordered drinks.
cheesecake for fadhil's mum.
and meerah bought eclair.
we talked and talked shit man.
the starbucks conversation was already so great.
what more to come is even better.
when fahmi came and left.
and ahmad went home also.
we decided to move to blakang tm for awhile.
while waiting for meerah's dad to pick her up.

well, what happened at blakang tm was something i would never forget.
a real, heart to heart talk with 3 definitely good friends of mine who gave the best advices anyone can get.
especially with roman and meerah around.
telling them what i did..
was something that brought up alot of issues.
we talked about our relationships.
people we liked.
people we hated.
people who do shit on us.
people who are angels.
and those stufs.

we talked about marriage.
and, it is something that everyone will have to think about in the future right?
something, which i have to think of soon.
and, for a long time before this.
i don't remember pouring my hearts out.
and it felt great.

i've never told anyone about it.
until yesterday night.
what i really feel about the whole thing.
about what has been planned out for me and my girlfriend.

i am yearning for that day i sign those papers.
because i love my girlfriend so so much.
we're 2 years now.
and, i can't think of being with anyone else.
because as imperfect as she is.
i love who siti aisyah is as a person.

and, meerah talked about the same thing about wan.
about how he never fails to just wrap an arm around her and say that he loves her so so much.
about how he never once looked at other girls being with meerah.

and, meerah said.
"i wouldnt be with wan until now, if i dont look as him as my husband."

and i totally agree.
i look to aisyah as my wife too.
i may be very young.
and not yet experience stufs that adults do.
but, that is one thing i hang on to.

"it is something that just comes naturally."
quote fadhil.
"we look at our friends as lovers. and lovers as spouses."

that is why we care so much for those who really matters.

i told them about the two sides that im feeling.
how, just the thought of it or the plan my mum laid out..
is so very intimidating.

one side of me.
i do want this.
i do want to spend my life with her.
i cannot see myself with anyone else.

but the other side of me.
i would want her to have a good life.
i would want my children to be happy.
i would want my children to have all the luxury that i have as a child.

but, where do i get it.?
i ask myself. and them. yesterday.
where.?

that is what im afraid of.

roman said.
"ive always believe that, a person, takes control of his own life."

fadhil also said.
"follow what ur heart says rul."

i really appreaciate what advices they gave me last night.
i reached home.
and my girlfren called me while having her break.
i was so relieved to hear her voice.
i miss her so much.
and, when i said.
"b, i love you."
i know, from the deepest veins in my heart.
i mean it.

love is a big word.
but, i have gone through shit too.
i have realised my mistakes as a growing teenager.
and still finding out more about myself.

meerah said this in the end.
"sometimes, when you wait for someone for so long. and it just doesnt happen. let it go."

the past still haunts me.
from,
asmar, to dian, to safiyah, to yani, to jaja.
i still cry thinking about why i did, what i did at that time.
everyone knows, dark past are hard to let go.
but, i know now that.
it is time to let go.

i can't keep harping on the past.
right?

my love for you will never end.
you'll always be a part of me.
as long as time keeps passing by.
you'll always be my baby girl.

-4f `04 .. i lurps you guys .. -

duX`-

such as.. being me.

2005-10-19T13:35:00.000+08:00

heylo.

still never right.
i will never be good enough.
i will always be stupid.

alright?

still being me.
and, it's wrong.
no mask, no facades whatsoever.
and, it's wrong.

be me.
and, it's wrong.

be hairul sahril.
and, you won't be happy.

right?

-cared about how i feel..?-

duX`-

such as.. virgoans.

2005-10-07T01:07:00.000+08:00

heylo.

got this from sumwher..
mm..
virgo.

But the outward lack of feeling may, in some individuals born under this sign, conceal too much emotion, to which they are afraid of giving way because they do not trust others, nor do they have confidence in themselves and their judgments. This is because they are conscious of certain shortcomings in themselves of worldliness, of practicality, of sophistication and of outgoingness. So they bring the art of self concealment to a high pitch, hiding their apprehensiveness about themselves and their often considerable sympathy with other people under a mantle of matter-of-factness and undemonstrative, quiet reserve. They are still waters that run deep. Yet in their unassuming, outwardly cheerful and agreeable fashion, they can be sensible, discreet, well spoken, wise and witty, with a good understanding of other people's problems which they can tackle with a practicality not always evident in their own personal relationships.

get that?
who cares about what i say anyway?
aint i right?
i don't confide in people.
because, i've learnt to know, that they don't listen.
and, it's so me, not to talk to anyone about anything.
im an introvert.
i don't talk when it's unnecassary.
i don't talk when people keep quiet.
i know, i lack the initiative.
because, it's just me who doesn't talk much.

-bleargh-

duX`-

such as.. feeling dissapointed.

2005-10-05T01:13:00.000+08:00

heylo.

as expected, it was never gonna come from you.
eh sis?

never will it be for me.
but always gonna be for others.
eh sis?

well, so much for the promises.
to be there for me.
eh sis?

yeah, i admit.
i am sensitive.
coz, i still need your shoulder. sis.

maybe, i should stop expecting you to be there for me.
eh sis?

maybe, i should stop expecting anything already. from you.
eh sis?

well, who am i to you now.
eh sis?

a bro?
-bleargh-

tidak patut terasa jika kamu tidak makan cili padi.
heh hehh..

-jangan macam paham lah kanz...-

duX`-

such as.. the missing ones.

2005-10-04T04:23:00.000+08:00

heylo.

where are friends when u really need them?

where is he, when i need him?

sigh.

-cringe-

duX`-

such as.. myself.

2005-10-04T03:40:00.000+08:00

heylo.

i know no one would leave comments.
but heck.

ahm i such a hard person to understand.?
or should i say..
is it hard to understand guys?

uh gerls?

like, c'mon la,
im sure i don't make my friends' lives hard whenever im with them.
right?

mad inc's?
do i make your time very complicated whenever im with you guys?

and.. gerls?
what do you expect from your guy?

every single one of you would say..
security and stability.
aint i right?
with these two then, you would be happy together.
right?

ahm i so bad as a boyfriend, that you still doubt me even after 23 months.?

what else you want me to do?
to make you feel secure?

what wrong have i been doin that you still have uncertainties?

you asked about privacy.
to what extend..
i merely said about not checking each other's hp's and online a/cs..
you assumed that, we don't have to tell each other anything anymore.

you are going to have strong views on this.
and you're gonna say i assume things.

sigh.
it's going to be my fault in the end.
(and, you're gonna start blaming yourself, and say im never in the wrong)

im lost.
i don't know what to do or say anymore.

we've had this fight a zillion times already.

-when is it going to stop?-

duX`-

such as... persada..

2005-09-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

heylo.

yeh yeh.

red LELE rox!
persada was great lah.
in a sense that, i talked stufs to caca.
kinda miss talking to that sis of mine.
haha.
activites were also fun fun.
=)

best facilitator, best female camper and overall champs.
=)
and the only group i see got cheers.
haha.
sheesh.
happening geng!

thanks to ili, fit, caca, mun and meself.
the group got only 5 people.
2-3 people didn't turn up.
mmm.

dad got hospitalised for high blood pressure.
and some imbalance stuf in the ears or something like that.
very painful he says.
gonna pray that he will be fine and be back home as soon as possible.

the heart breaks.
immediate future ruined.
fuck.
im so sad.
won't post it up ah.
lazy to update on it.
it's quite depressing when things are going fine for now..
and this hadta happen.
but, its okay yeah baby?
we'll pull through it yeah.
i love you.

and i can't wait for school to end as fast as possible.
with a diploma in hand of course.
dowant to be a pHd.
then, it will only be two.
and no one else.

-[[dwi//dian]]-

duX`-